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Miscellany

Two Outs, Bottom of the Ninth ... Do You Go With Scarlett or Alba? (A Quasi-Sports Discussion)

Slowest sports day of the year? It’s up there. So we’re stepping out of the sports realm for a moment and asking a silly question. A friend mentioned to us that he recently had discussed the following with someone, and a conclusion could not be reached: who has dated hotter women, Derek Jeter or Justin Timberlake? The obvious answer is: who cares, Timberlake’s a douche. But allow us to give this a crack, turning the argument into a first-round MLB postseason series:

Game 1: Music women. Let’s give the nod to Timberlake because Britney in her prime beats Mariah Carey in her prime.
Game 2: Similar sounding names. Alyssa Milano is hotter than Vanessa Minnillo, so Timberlake gets that one, too.
Game 3: Seriously dated. This one’s to Jeter, since Jordana Brewster trumps Cameron Diaz.
Game 4: Jessica Biel. As you can see above, Timberlake’s with her now … Jeter spent a romantic holiday weekend with her on New Year’s Eve. Since Jeter got her first … let’s give this one to the Yankees captain. Call it a walk-off homer in the 11th.
Game 5: Hottest they’ve been with: Scarlett Johansson vs Jessica Alba. Wow. This one’s difficult. We’ve already talked to two guys about this, and both went with Scarlett. We’re Alba guys ourselves. It’s really a tossup.

Now, back to actual sports talk. First, we’ve got to locate our johnson, re-attach it, and then we’ll be good to go.

 

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