Michael Phelps Latest Endorsement*: Marijuana

In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.

The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis.

That’s what you do with this thing! Now, while the idea that a 23-year-old millionaire smoking marijuana is absolutely mind-blowing, it is kind of a big deal because…

sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.

I assume “sporting chiefs” is a proper title. Rules are rules, I guess, but pot isn’t exactly a performance enhancer. Much more on the overreaction of a 23-year-old smoking pot after the jump…

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.€

Thanks anonymous college kid who probably plays intramural frolf. This article is angering me.

“He arrived with a group of girls hanging all over him. Jaws hit the floor when he walked in. You don’t get many celebrities in Columbia, so when Phelps comes to your party it’s a very big deal.

“He didn’t know many people so you’d think he’d be a little shy. But he was loud, obnoxious and slamming beers from the get-go.

I can’t imagine how a young guy with cash who has been on the cover of every magazine and all over our television sets over the last year had any confidence. Oh, and Phelp’s people tried to kill the story.

Spokesman Clifford Bloxham offered us an extraordinary deal not to publish our story, saying Phelps would become our columnist for three years, host events and get his sponsors to advertise with us.

In return, he asked that we kill Phelps’ bong picture. Bloxham said: “It’s seeing if something potentially very negative for Michael could turn into something very positive for the News of the World.”

He stressed that the swimmer had taken 1,500 drug tests and never failed one.

1,500 drug tests? Holy shit. That’s more impressive than the 8 gold medals.

*Suck it cthomashowell.