Brad Penny and Karina Smirnoff hooked up in LA back in October. Over the weekend, they hit the beach. Naturally the paparazzi swarmed because Smirnoff looks tremendous in a bathing suit. Penny? He’s just an ordinary pitcher who has somehow collected a staggering $37 million during his decidedly mediocre career. Penny continues to defy the odds: the Cardinals will pay him $7.5 million this year for what will surely be 10-9 and a 4.50 ERA. How Penny landed Eliza Dushku and Alyssa Milano is one of the truly great mysteries in baseball over the last decade.
Seriously, what is going on here?
That’s why you should never try.
Now we know where he keeps his Heisman.
There’s a line. This crosses it.