Yardwork: The Streaking Rangers, Holliday on Fire, and Welcome Back Lou
By Tim Ryan
Cardinals 9, Blue Jays 4: Jose Bautista launched home runs No. 19 and 20. He’s batting .232. The guy should really be traded to the 1991 Detroit Tigers. Rob Deer and Mickey Tettleton and would welcome him with open arms. Jaime Garcia, playing an amazing Luke to Dave Duncan’s Yoda, improved to 7-3. And Matt Holliday is on fire – he’s 11 for 17 with five homers in his last four games.
Angels 6, Dodgers 3: The Dodgers have lost five in a row and eight of their last 10. They’re probably just playing possum for their inevitable sweep of the Yankees this weekend.
Mariners 2, Cubs 0: Lou Piniella made his return to Seattle, a place where he frequently smiled and, you know, won. ‘Twas not to be. Ryan Dempster’s eight innings of two-run ball were wasted as Jason Vargas silenced the Cubbie bats for seven innings. The Mariners have allowed just two runs in their last five games. Chew on that.
Reds 4, Athletics 2: Diamond Dallas Braden hasn’t won since his grandma verbally pantsed A-Rod. But we’ll always remember his name. Feel. The. Bang!
Giants 3, Astros 1: Timmy went eight, gave up a run and struck out seven. Oswalt went seven, gave up two and quite naturally, took the loss. After the game he announced he’ll be pitching nude until he’s shipped out of Houston.
White Sox 9, Braves 6: Chicago has won seven straight although six of those wins came against the Pirates and Nationals. Having said that, they unloaded on Tommy Hanson with a violent SuperSoaker to the tune of 13 hits and 9 runs.
Padres 2, Rays 1: He plays in San Diego, so no one gives a shit, but Matt Latos – 7 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 8 K – deserves some attention. Joe Maddon was impressed: “I want to check his birth certificate. I don’t think he’s 22. He’s one of the better young pitchers I’ve seen.” Plus, I got berated in an email the other day for never discussing the Padres when they win.
Mets 14, Tigers 6: The Mets beat Justin Verlander. This season officially makes no sense. Where the fuck am I?