POWERED BY

Soccer

Weekly Top Five: World Cup, NBA Draft, Wimbledon, Jerry Seinfeld and Lady Gaga

Every week* The Sports Hernia and Cousins of Ron Mexico will recap the top five stories of the week. They are listed by importance, humor and relevance with a high degree of historical perspective in mind. Mostly, we’ll be reviewing the stuff TBL has run into the ground over the last few days, but sometimes a story slips through the cracks. Or some third reason allowing us to bring up something pointless.

1. World Cup – U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!


CRM — Break out the vuvuzelas, we’re going to the round of 16! I was all alone in the commuter lounge of a college when Donovan put in the game winner on Wednesday. I ran across the room and slid into the corner. I still get goosebumps.

TSH — Ever since the Donovan goal I’ve been doing the Ric Flair strut and haven’t looked back. Wooooooooooooooo! On a related note, the New York Post remains utterly ridiculous. But thankfully since this is soccer, the announcers won’t be discussing the Landon/Bianca topic incessantly.

2. NBA Draft
CRM — I’m totally breaking out the John Wall dance at a wedding tomorrow. Also, let me say that I really like DeMarcus Cousins. The kid has really grown on me. Not that it mattes what I think. Also, congrats to CDR for his departure from New Jersey for greener jerseys.

TSH — David Stern getting booed never gets old. It just doesn’t. His smug, “I’m over here and you’re over there” reaction is even better. But I miss the charismatic Russ Granik. The guy was a walking celebration of spontaneity.

3. Strasburg Loses!
CRM — This guy stinks.

TSH — And he only went 1 for 2 at the plate. What a dick.

CRM — Seriously. I thought you had to be a certain age to be elected mayor of Fraud City.

4. The Longest Tennis Match Of All Time. OF ALL TIME!
TSH — According to Oliver Stone, the longest tennis match of all time was phonier than Giant Gonzalez’s muscle suit.

CRM — Best conspiracy theory ever – This was fixed to go long to get attention. I mean, it kind of makes sense, but this is Wimbledon. Next thing you know you’re going to tell me that Andre Agassi wore a wig and used meth. GTFO.

5. Jerry Seinfeld, Lady Gaga and Keith Hernandez
CRM — What a random group of people. The Mets just bring people together I guess. If on the week Eminem’s new album dropped you told me that Jerry Seinfeld would be the one to release the Lady Gaga diss track, I would have thought you were crazy.

TSH — Seinfeld’s appearance in the booth on SNY Wednesday night was such a joy I think it moved.

Honorable Mention:

Your mother’s got a body shop…. How’s the reception on your new iPhone, you trendy mofo?… Surprise – Grown Ups is going to suck… Not a surprise – It’ll probably be successful because that person over there and that one over there, well, they’re idiots. …  Almost forgot … a fucking hat!

*Yeah… every week. Right.

Because you want to see it first!

Like and follow The Big Lead today!

blog comments powered by Disqus

Latest Leads

Because you want to see it first.

Like and follow The Big Lead today!