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Yardwork: Cardinals Restore Order in NL Central

Cardinals 4, Cubs 3 (11 innings): Felipe Lopez sent one into the seats with two outs in the top of 11th to give St. Louis the win. The nearly four-hour game will likely draw the ire of Phil Mushnick, who finds being forced to stay up late on a Sunday night to be completely unreasonable. Fat Albert was hitless on the weekend until the sixth when he took Dempster deep on a no-doubt-about-it shot to left, tying things up at 3-3. And no, Cubs fans, the Rockies fan did not throw it back. Idiots.

Marlins 5, Braves 4 (11 innings): The Marlins walked off for the fourth time of the week on Wes Helms’ bases loaded single. He was rewarded by a pie in the face from his 7-year-old son. Though it sounds like Helms, the sick bastard, will surely get revenge: “I can get him when he’s sleeping. He’s going to wake up with shaving cream over his whole body.”

Mariners 4, Red Sox 2: The bottom of the Red Sox order yesterday went like this – Jeremy Hermida, Mike Cameron, Bill Hall, Dusty Brown. In a possibly related story, the Sox are eight games out of first place, yet for some reason, Dusty Brown finds this all amusing.

Phillies 4, Rockies 3: Don’t count the Phillies out just yet. They’ve won four in a row and are finally comfortably in second place, ahead of the inebriated Mets.

Astros 4, Reds 0: Wandy Rodriguez was awful in his last start so naturally, he threw seven scoreless innings of one-hit ball to go along with seven Ks. The Astros are now six games ahead of the Pirates in the race for second-to-last place.

Dodgers 1, Mets 0: Mets have lost 8 of 10. It was almost wrong of them to play above their heads the way they had until this latest skid. Blue balls can be painful, especially when it lasts for an entire baseball season.

A’s 6, White Sox 4: Diamond Dallas Braden won for the first time since his no-hitter on May 9. Self-high five!

Yankees 12, Royals 6: Blake Wood, in a successful effort to reunite baseball fans across the nation, absolutely drilled A-Rod on the wrist.

Rangers 6, Angels 4: Tommy Hunter is 8-0. What? Tommy Hunter is 8-0. What?

[Photo via Getty]

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