The Roundup: Friday the 13th, Matt Kemp, Scottie Pippen, Kevin Kolb, Jonathan Franzen and Hilary Duff

Kelly Brook, a double dose … “Study Says One in 12 U.S. Births From Illegal Immigrants” … why American Idol still hasn’t officially locked up new judgesDr. Laura dropped an N-bomb, then apologized … the Cathy comic strip is coming to an end … Europe, circa 1906 … the guy who would fake seizures to skip out of restaurant bills … probably fake: the Jaeger-Meister wedding … woman loans homeless man her credit card … that didn’t take long: Playboy posts NSFW pics of the woman who took down the HP CEO … no drugs can treat the new “superbug” … and the banks claim their books are in good shape … high school yearbook photos of the White House party crasher … big spelling error in North Carolina …

Canadians: I’ll take the internet over sex, thanks. [Toronto Sun]

The Kevin Kolb era begins tonight in Philly. [Inquirer]

So Matt Kemp and the Dodgers sound like they’re headed for a split, right? [LA Times]

How Scottie Pippen was discovered. [Tribune]

“[People in the crowd] were saying, ‘Oh he’s from Duke’ and ‘You’re playing like a white boy,’” Williams said. “Just regular trash talking from New York City. Obviously, you throw the ball between somebody’s legs, you cross somebody over and make a 3, people are like, ‘Oh, he actually can play.’ I’ve always been able to play.” [NY Post]

The seedy guy who peddles “Missing toddlers, murdered coeds, septuplets, serial killers—an endless parade of freaks and victims” to the networks and cable news. Fascinating. [The Atlantic]

Great, albeit sad, read on the linebacker who was cut by the Jets on Hard Knocks. [ESPN NY]

Any Jonathan Franzen fans out there? He’s on the cover of Time Magazine. [MediaBistro]

Hilary Duff is getting married to NHL player Mike Comrie this weekend, supposedly. [Page 6]

It took him awhile to recover from the Mitchell Report, but Jay Gibbons is back in MLB. [LA Times]

“Mother suing Walt Disney Parks and Resorts claims that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and about a dozen other ‘permanent’ maladies because Donald Duck grabbed her breasts two years ago at Epcot Center.” [Philly Daily News]

At the US basketball scrimmage from Radio City Music Hall, the offense was hideous … [via Jose3030]

… and blue won it on the dunk.

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