Phillies 3, Mets 1: Last night ESPN flashed quite possibly the greatest graphic you’ll see all season. It appears as though the Mets offense has done very little to impress since the All-Star break. If anyone asks you a question about Los Mets, there’s no need to screw around or even wait to hear the entire question. A swift reply of “LAST” will suffice. However, if the query is in regard to Pat Misch’s mound behavior, I’m afraid I can’t help. There’s really no explanation. He’s a freak.
Tigers 13, White Sox 8: Armando Galarraga was destined to snap after the turbulent season he’s endured and he finally did yesterday, jawing with catcher Alex Avila in the dugout and throwing a classic baseball “punch-slap” at backup catcher Gerald Laird. A pitcher fighting someone in the dugout at some point during the season has become the gold standard for losing teams.
Braves 13, Dodgers 1: Vicente Padilla allowed eight runs in 4 1/3 innings. The Dodgers are coming apart faster than Roger Sterling at an open bar. And it’s just as amusing. At 41-16, the Braves have the best home record in baseball. Huh?
Twins 4, Athletics 2: Kevin Slowey, who missed his last start due to elbow tendinitis, took a no-hitter into the eighth and everyone freaked out when Ron Gardenhire gave him the hook – “I took a pitcher out with a no-hitter going. But I would do it 1,000 times the same way.” Gardenhire knows how to please the home crowd.
Reds 2, Marlins 0: The Reds sweep Cousin Ron’s Marlins in a bold bid to return to first place. Total chaos.
Cubs 9, Cardinals 7: Kyle Lohse is back? Why? He was atrocious in his return, allowing seven runs in three innings. He’s 1-5 on the season. Probably a good idea to leave him out of the division race.
Padres 8, Giants 2: Tim Lincecum didn’t make it through the fourth inning. It’s his first three-game losing streak of his career. Time to bring back Shawn Estes.
Royals 1, Yankees 0: Royals starter Bryan Bulllington was previously 0-7 in his career. Probably the most shocking shutout of the season.
Rays 3, Orioles 2: Young Jeremy Hellickson is 3-0 in three starts. He’s allowed three earned runs in 20 innings. The Rays are loaded with young pitching for what appears to be eternity.
Indians 9, Mariners 1: King Felix’s line? 6.2 IP, 6 H, 6 R, 0 ER, 4 BB, 7 K. That kind of line only happens when your team is 46-72. Tim Kurkjian cannot freaking believe it.
Rockies 6, Brewers 5: Ubaldo managed to limit the 10-hit barrage to just three runs, but yeah, he’s come back to earth. No Cy Young for Ubaldo.
Nationals 5, Diamondbacks 3: Strasburg has allowed 10 earned runs in his last 15 innings. Gross.
Encore time … ladies and gentleman, Mr. Pat Misch!