Giants 7, Padres 3: Matt Cain stepped it up with eight innings of three-run ball. In some countries, that’s considered a great start, although he did give up two homers. The Giants have three more shots to make things interesting in a hurry and possibly overtake first this weekend, but don’t forget, San Fran hosts San Diego for their final three games to close out the season. So basically, anything can happen and everyone should be paranoid. Remember Will Clark? He hated everyone. He was the best.
Rockies 6, Reds 5: Chris Nelson stole home. You know you’ve been swept when such a sentence can lead off the game recap. The surprising bonus of such unfortunate circumstances is that the Reds still lead the division by five games thanks to the Cardinals, who have been busy choking on their own vomit.
Cardinals 11, Braves 4: Atlanta jumped on Wainwright in the first inning for three runs, yet somehow managed to cough it all up. The pathetic Cardinals are officially playing the role of spoiler while the Braves have eagerly taken the fail baton. It’s really quite entertaining.
Tigers 6, White Sox 3: Johnny Damon had four hits and Rick Porcello was a chief for eight innings. The White Sox are done. Oh come on, stop acting like He-Gone-Hawk and tip your cap to Minnesota. They overcome injuries and free agency every year and usually end up winning the division. It’s remarkable.
Rangers 4, Blue Jays 2: Colby Lewis, who improved to 10-12, will never be as entertaining as Jeff Lewis and neither will you. On the uplifting side, the Rangers will be a part of Actober. I’m pretty sure the Rangers aren’t yet aware of this news.
This commercial is amazing. Cubs fans must light their eyebrows on fire when they see this shit:
Astros 3, Dodgers 2: Did you hear me, Astros 3, Dodgers 2! I could have said Ted Lilly versus Bud Norris, but you probably would have responded with a shoulder shrug and some vengeful gas.
[Photo via Getty]
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