Yardwork: Phils Clinch, Braves Actually Win & Ozzie Will be Back
By Tim Ryan
Braves 2, Marlins 1 (11 innings): The Braves are back! They own the wildcard spot by a half game and now that the Phils have locked up the East, that last series of the season against the Fightins’ is not looking nearly as imposing since Charlie will likely be resting a lot of his big guns.
Orioles 4, Rays 0: Brian Matusz went seven scoreless and struck out eight, but Evan Longoria’s bitching stole the show: “Since I’ve been here in ’06, the fans have wanted a good baseball team. They’ve wanted to watch a contender, and for us to play good baseball for three years now, and for us to be in a spot to clinch again and go to the playoffs, we’re all confused as to why it’s only 15,00 to 20,000 in the building.” This is at least the 10th time a member of the Rays has called out the fans. It’s not working, just move on.
Cubs 1, Padres 0: The Padres had the bases loaded in the ninth with two out, but couldn’t make anything happen. As it stands right now, San Diego is out, so please keep up the good work, Cubbies.
Red Sox 6, White Sox 1: Clay Buchholz kept the Red Sox playoff dreams alive with eight innings of one-run ball. Can they just lose already so the Rays and Yanks can set up their rotations for the first round? This is getting annoying. On the lighter side of things, Ozzie Guillen will back as White Sox manager in 2011. Whether you hate him or love him, you should be happy, because it means there’s a chance he’ll call Jay Mariotti a “faggot” or tell Joe West to go fuck himself.
Dodgers 3, Rockies 1: Wow, Ubaldo Jimenez is still stuck on 19 wins. He’s lost 6 of his last 8. He actually pitched well last night (7 IP 2 ER), but for the most part he’s been an unraveled mess since mid-July.
Blue Jays 7, Yankees 5: AJ Burnett, inspired by the prospect of clinching a playoff spot, showed up with his marbles freshly shined and went a memorable 2 1/3 innings, allowing seven runs. Thanks for nothing, shithead.
This commercial is played nonstop on MLB Network. I’m convinced the happy-go-lucky lyrics were inspired by the TBL comments section. Touching stuff:
[Photo via Getty]