The Big Lead

Halladay Throws No-No & Drives in a Run, But Robbie Cano Really Scored

By Tim Ryan

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Anyone who watched the game or even saw a handful of highlights knows Doc wasn’t handed anything here. He was filthier than Lohan’s vagina. So really, the proper thing to do would be to tip your cap, set your sights on Game 2 and most importantly, stop whining like a little bitch who got the small piece of cake. Considering the young series stands at just 1-0, Cabrera’s quote comes across far too panicky. Don’t expect to see too much more of the Reds.

Rangers 5, Rays 1: It will be all about Roy today but Cliff Lee’s free agent contract just keeps getting fatter and fatter. He cruised through seven innings yesterday, allowing five hits, one run and fanned 10. I love the way he quickly trots off the mound as soon as the third out is recorded. He’s all business and no flare. Cliffy is basically right there with Doc in terms of likability. There’s just nothing negative to say. He will be an absolute delight in pinstripes come 2011.

Now let’s finish things off where we began and grade the major media outlets – ESPN, CBS, Fox and Yahoo – on their playful Halladay headlines:

1st place – Fox Sports – “Dr. No-No”
There are probably 100 newspapers that went the same route, but it doesn’t make it any less cool.

2nd place – Yahoo! Sports – “Historic Halladay”
Was it not a historic baseball holiday?

3rd place – ESPN – “His Time To Shine”
The person responsible for this vague, cliche crap will never write a headline again. Crossing fingers that someone told said headline writer to go get their shine box shortly after this was published.

LAST place – CBS Sportsline – “Royal debut”
Royal debut? What the fuck is this? At least give us the hyphen in “Roy-al.” No one, especially the fucking Royals, deserve to be part of Doc’s special moment.

And yes, Roy, if you keep this up, it’s only gonna get funner. Hopefully Roy’s quote will soon make it’s way to this page:

[Doc photos via Getty; Robbie Beef via @bxbomber12; Screengrabs via Twitter, Fox, Yahoo, ESPN & Sportsline]