Ryan Torain: The Washington Redskins new starting running back – Clinton Portis is out for at least six weeks – reportedly scored a three on the Wonderlic test, according to John Czarnecki of Fox Sports. [UPDATE: A reader notes that Torain has a learning disability, which explains the low Wonderlic score.] We’d attempt to put some witty spin on this, but we’re more hungover than we’ve been in a long, long time. We’ll spend the next two hours guzzling water and hopefully wake up just in time for the 1 pm games. [via Evan Silva]
Roundup: Watch a Man in Starbucks Stop Armed Robbery; & Wisconsin Company Implants Microchips in Employees
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The Texas Rangers appear poised to hang on to Yu Darvish.
With Clayton Kershaw out, the Dodgers need to add another ace.