NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview: Week 6

Favre plays football like any child – he overreacts to everything – and that’s something I can understand. I appreciate that he plays sports the way that I do. When things are going well, he’s on top of the world. When things are going to hell, he’s incredulous. (/nods at Duffy) In his mind, things should always work out – even sending pictures of his dick to a young co-ed.

So let’s have standing ovation for Brett Favre who hurt his team the same way he always does – A late comeback followed by an even later game-clinching pick-six. It was beautiful.

Something Exploding!
Because we’re running out of videos of pigs exploding (Did I mention that at all over the last 2 years?) here’s the classic video of Hunter S. Thompson and Conan O’Brien shooting guns and drinking hard liquor.

In Fan Duel news – $10 entry for a week of fantasy football – I’ve sucked. I’ve come damn close to finishing dead last the last two weeks. The only consolation is that Traina is almost doing as bad. Seriously, I’m embarrassed by my performance.

BEARS (-6.5) over Seahawks
If faking concussions is cool, then Jay Cutler is Miles Davis.

Ravens (+2.5) over PATRIOTS
If there’s a longer way to explain that you meant to send a direct message on Twitter…

Lions (+10.5) over GIANTS
I think the Lions can cover. The coin and I actually got into an arguement about this game and that’s why “he” isn’t here. (He is in quotations because its a trans-gendered coin.)

Falcons (+1.5) over EAGLES
Finally, the Falcons take on Kevin Kolb. This is what the match-makers dream about.

Dolphins (+1.5) over PACKERS
I still can’t get over how bad the Packers are this year. Chad Henne is going to look awesome this week!

Chargers (-8.5) over RAMS
Were you aware that Eric Dickerson coached in the first Lingerie Bowl? Write that down. I’m sure it’ll show up on Final Jeopardy any time now.

BUCCANEERS (+5.5) over Saints
Reggie Bush is not invited to Kim Kardashian’s 30th birthday party. I wonder how this will affect his limping around on the sidelines this week?

Chiefs (+4.5) over TEXANS
Matt Cassel looked much better throwing to Randy Moss and Wes Welker. There. I said it. And that Chiefs fan, great googly moogly.

Raiders (+6.5) over 49ERS
Alex Smith at least has some exciting moments. If you switch him and Brett Favre, both the Vikings and 49ers have the exact same season and stats.

Jets (-3.5) over BRONCOS
TBL once reverse-reverse-reverse-reverse-jinxed a Jets game. True story.

Cowboys (+1.5) over VIKINGS
I’ll be wearing my Moss jersey on Sunday. Probably not, but how the fuck can you tell? You can’t see me.

Colts (-3.5) over REDSKINS
Listen. I follow bsanders on Twitter. I’m aware that the Colts will either have a pathetic 9-7 season and a first round exit, or a heroic 10-6 season with a first round exit.

Titans (-4.5) over JAGUARS
I can’t wait to hear the new lyrics about the Titans and Jags on Monday Night Football.

[Classic Cheerleaders via Getty]