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Weekly Top Five: Brett's Dong, MLB Playoffs, Mel Kiper, a Brawl & Maybe a Hat

Almost every week Stephen Douglas (CRM) and Tim Ryan (TSH) will take you on a journey through links and pictures related to the previous days. Sometimes, we’re too hungover or too-on-vacation to compile a post such as this. In that case you’ll go without it and be forced to use the previous page option to remember the big stories. This makes four in a row. We’re on fire!

1. Favre’s Dong & Sterger’s Phone
CRM - We’re still talking about this? That’s cute.

TSH – Quite sadly, this will be talked about until there’s some kind of “resolution” or “finality.”

2. Cliff Lee is a Badass
TSH – The guy didn’t even look back to see if the last out was caught in Game 5. Cliff just knows. He makes Val Kilmer’s version of Doc Holliday look like Pee-Wee Herman. 

CRM – Am I supposed to be impressed by a 6-hit, 1-run complete game? Because, I’m not.

3. 30-for-30: “Once Brothers”
CRM - With all due respect to The Two Escobars, this was probably the best of the series. Maybe the basketball hit home more than soccer did, but damn. I knew of the story, but had never heard it told like this. It was everything this documentary series is capable of.

TSH - Drazen Petrovic had the balls to step to Jordan and Vlade Divac had the balls to make this commercial. This documentary was a victory from the word go.

4. Mel Kiper + Dirty Agents = Scandal!
CRM - I believe every word of that story. I can’t wait until more people start talking. Not that I want anything to change, I’m just really interested in this stuff.

TSH – I love to see a good take down, but please don’t let anything happen to Mel Kiper. He’s an irreplaceable freak that graduated with honors from the Vince McMahon school of facial expressions. If ESPN really needs to come up with some kind of punishment, just throw the raging vulture into some more split-screen time with his sworn enemy, Todd McShay.

5. Arch Rivals
TSH – See what happens when you don’t institute an annoying “can’t leave the bench” rule? Out of control, inspiring mayhem. Chug a bucket of dicks, Stern-O.

CRM – One time in high school I was breaking through a double-team in a full court press and broke a kid’s nose. There was no fight, but holy shit was there a lot of blood.

Honorable Mention
A new blog … a peak at CRM’s bathroom renovation … a peak at Timmy R’s morning ritual… a fucking hat!

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This Week in Retarded Pictures Of Snooki
TSH – Uh oh, Warren just got a whiff of the beef curtains. Poor bastard.

CRM – There’s nothing that Warren could possibly do to Snooki that South Park didn’t.

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Query of the Week
So, Smarties, Chewy Spree or Laffy Taffy?

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Yeah, that’s right, this is our fourth straight Weekly Top Five!

[Photos via Getty]

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