NFL Pigskin Pigsploins Preview: Week 7

Fools!

Of course, I kid. I love all sports equally. Even soccer. (Not really)

I would like to take this opportunity to say I feel sorry for all the parents reading this. At some point on Sunday, you’re going to have to take your kids out and miss some football. I on the other hand will be sitting in my living room drinking Ocotberfest and yelling at children to get off my lawn because “Candy is too expensive in this economic climate! Show some respect for those that are struggling! Stop taking food off my plate and get the Hell out of here!’ Then I’ll throw some of the dozens of eggs I’ve collected and stored on my back porch over the last month at the children and pull out my baseball bat when their parents start to walk towards the house. Happy Halloween indeed.

Pig Roast Gone Horribly Wrong (If you mute the video and pretend)

Best Quarterback of the Ever
Eli Manning shook off some very early problems to not suck as much as Dallas. I still don’t understand how that game turned around.

Fraud!
Oh, Brett Favre. Never retire. Please? Its not like he’s in any danger of ever winning a Super Bowl again. At this point his failures far outweigh his successes. Its just fun to watch him play and listen to people pat him on the back as he throws bad pass after ill-advised pass. The way other players are blamed for his mistakes is hilarious to me.

Awful Football Picks and a Place To Prove You’re Better Than Me At Fantasy Football
Last week I picked 5 games correctly. That brings me to a total of… 13 or so for the season. Go over to FanDuel to do the single-week fantasy thing. I’ve got like two weeks left to win a trip to Vegas. Its not looking good.

Dolphins (+2.5) over BENGALS
Only the Panthers have scored fewer touchdowns than the Dolphins this season.

LIONS (-2.5) over Redskins
Remember when Donovan McNabb’s mom was the Grandmother on Ghostwriter?

CHIEFS (-7.5) over Bills
I barely remember the Montana years in KC, so the idea of the Chiefs not completely sucking is a bit unnerving.

RAMS (-3.5) over Panthers
See, if they moved this game to 4pm, who would notice?

JETS (-6.5) over Packers
The Packers might become the first team to make the playoffs using nothing but a 35 man roster.

49ERS (-0.5) over Broncos
I’m just excited to see what new way the 49ers can come up with to lose the game. I mean, Troy Smith!

CHARGERS (-3.5) over Titans
The pictures are provided by Getty Images. Yay cheerleaders!

Buccaneers (+3.5) over CARDINALS
Obviously, the Pigsplosion logo is by Rex.

PATRIOTS (-5.5) over Vikings
I seriously do look forward to watching Favre hobble around the field.

RAIDERS (-2.5) over Seahawks
Who thought these teams would have 7 wins combined for the season?

Steelers (+0.5) over SAINTS
/spits on baseball fans

COLTS (-5.5) over Texans
WLK