Jason Whitlock on Riley’s Inevitable Return to Coaching: “I’m starting to think Pat Riley is as needy as a 24-year-old stripper, addicted to the drama, the dysfunction and the lust of wealthy men willing to make it rain … The Big Three free-agent decision is the equivalent of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and Bristol Palin agreeing to film a porno. Check that. I’d support that project wholeheartedly and would sit through several one-hour, Jim Gray-hosted infomercials about how the deal came together.” Strippers and porn. How can you not love Jason Whitlock? And Phil Jackson’s quotes in the article are dead on. Stan Van Gundy should really just stick to looking fabulous rather than getting his nipple tassels in a bunch over the Zen Master making sense. [FoxSports; photo via Getty]