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2010 Yearly Top Five: The Year of the Dong

Once a year Tim “The Sports Hernia” Ryan and Stephen “Cousins of ‘CRM’ Ron Mexico” Douglas write a post about the stuff they can remember from the previous year. They will count down the biggest, most annoying, over-covered and run-into-the-ground stories that we’ve had the pleasure of arguing about  that year. This is that post and we are those people.

5. Landon Donovan, Team USA and the World Cup

TSH – This video gives me chills every time. God bless Ian Darke. Simply amazing. This compilation of reactions is pretty great too.

CRM – Team USA gave us some real goosebump moments. The entire World Cup was awesome. There is nothing better than sports being on at 10am. Add in the jingoism, huge outdoor viewing parties and a good old U-S-A! chant and you’ve got the recipe for awesomeness.

4. Tiger Woods
CRM – His personal life certainly fell apart. So, that’s something. While this story originally broke at the end of 2009, the first half of this year was full of Tiger’s mistresses coming out. There were more cocktail waitresses than I can even be bothered to recall.

TSH – Tiger didn’t win anything in 2010, thus making golf incredibly boring and irrelevant. Come on Tiger, we need ya.

3. The Big Lead
TSH – What else can you say other than standing ovay?

CRM – I’m still angry that I wasn’t privy to the negotiations. Coulda got some extra figures. And yes, this one falls in the dong category. Not because we’re dicks, but because the blogosphere’s thirst for athlete dong is what pays the bills. I don’t pretend to understand it.

2. LeBron’s Decision
CRM – I know I could have written about this a few more times. In summation, I like LeBron, didn’t like the way he informed us of his decision and love watching him play. It doesn’t hurt that I get to see the pain of Cleveland front and center.

TSH – LeBron James signed with the Miami Heat. LeBallerina James took his dancing skills to Miami. LeBronald James stained his legacy forever. Whatever. LeBron’s “Decision” special taught me how not to shave and how not to dress. If you were fortunate enough to take away two life lessons of equal importance, consider yourself victorious. If you burned a LeBron jersey following his decision, just get the rest over with and light yourself on fire.

1. Brett Favre’s Penis
TSH – Brett Favre ending the Vikings Super Bowl hopes with a scrotum-stomping interception, texting pictures of his dong to Jenn Sterger, and him laying dead on the field in Minnesota a couple weeks ago wraps up one hell of a year for the relentlessly horny quarterback. Looking back, it’s probably best he retire.

CRM – This story was huge. The subject matter was not. Hi-yo! Seriously, feel free to use that at parties this weekend. Oh, and don’t forget to watch Numb3rs. Whatever that is.

Honorable Mention: Delonte and LeBron’s Moms… Rex Ryan and everything the Jets did to annoy us… Cam Newton… Ben Roethlisberger’s bathroom exploits… Arianny Celeste in Playboy… Brett Favre and LeBron James… Did Erin Andrews do something this year?… John Shuster!

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