Roundup: New York is a Jets Town, Kim Clijsters Gives Good Interview & Drunk Girl vs. Wall

Heather Graham … Jessica Biel on the beach in Hawaii … George Clooney has malaria; his girlfriend looks ridiculous in a bikini … “Nurse loses license for 20 years over sex with hospice patient” … man gets $400k after he was libeled on the internet … if you’re a fan of “Basketball Wives” … this mafia crackdown has movie written all over it … George Lucas thinks the world could end in 2012 … “Man Used Neighbor’s Wi-Fi to Threaten Vice President Biden” … I’ve never seen such a great meth-lab arrest picture … who beat these pigs? … man shot for eating cake … for fans of Jersey Shore’s “Sammi” …

New York has become a Jets town. Sorry Giants, fans. [Neil Best]

Totally agree: Hey Goodell, let the players engage in some trash talk. [Tampa Trib]

Venus Williams pulls out of the Australian Open with an injury. [Reuters]

If David Simon writes it, you should read it. [Baltimore Sun]

Why Chad Henne, so far, has been a failure in Miami: “The handcuffed offense was being run in a gas station bathroom and producing a similar stench.” [Herald]

The woman who fell into the mall fountain while texting? She’s itching to sue somebody. [NYDN]

Ben Roethlisberger and the art of the pump fake. [NYT]

Nice win at home for the Noah/Boozer-less Bulls last night over the Mavs, 82-77. [Trib]

Mean Gene Okerlund thinks Bart Scott could have a future in wrestling. [Star-Ledger]

Is DeMarcus Cousins on his way to being an NBA bust, or does he just need a change of scenery? [Courier-Journal]

Seventeen things you didn’t know about Seinfeld. The Superman one threw us off. [Next Round via Jimmy Traina]

Washington hammers Arizona, re-asserts itself as the No. 1 team in the Pac-10, 85-68. [Seattle Times]

Graffiti vandals in Louisiana are tagging phone boxes with images of … Carlton Banks? [KSDK via]

Fewer NHL shootouts – good or bad? [USA Today]

This drunk girl had a problem with the wall.

This Kim Clijsters-Todd Woodbridge interview at the Australian Open is an all-time classic.

The No. 1 high school prospect in the country is a freakish beast. I don’t often see defensive ends outrun entire teams on the high school level. [via @CFTalk]

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