Weekly Top Five: Carmelo, Trades, Deron Williams, Trades

1. Charlie Sheen, WINNING
TSH -– Charlie Sheen’s recent stranglehold on the entertainment industry even has the sports world at its knees. In an era where disgraceful, inconsiderate and destructive are considered hilarious, unbelievable traits, Charlie Sheen is lapping the field so badly he’s porking it from behind.

CRM -– Check the math bro. Charlie Sheen’s success rate is 100%. His rant? The most metal thing I’ve ever heard. He is early Metallica. Listening to that phone call is like mainlining Four Loko. These fingers? *looks at fingers* There’s poetry in here.

TSH -– I haven’t been this flabbergasted over the NBA trade deadline since Peter Vecsey was accidentally traded to the Sacramento Bee.

3. White Guys Dunking
TSH -– Somewhere in Oklahoma City, Scotty Brooks says, “Oh they did? Well fuck them anyway.”

CRM -– We are also 1/3 white guys dunking.

4. NBA All-Star Game

TSH -– The greatest NBA All-Star moment was in 1992 when Magic Johnson, just three months after being diagnosed with HIV, hit a dramatic three-pointer — seriously, chills every time — with 27 seconds left. The game ended right there, as only a seasoned jackass would’ve considered hoisting up another shot after that moment. This year’s game? Eh.

CRM -– Always the most fun all-star game. Especially, when the competitiveness takes over the in the 4th.

5. Flops!

CRM – Chris Bosh played the wrong sport.

TSH -– Ladybugs sold more respectable flops than that embarrassment.

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Honorable Mention
Jimmer… Oh you thought there might be some links here? Well guess what … a fucking hat!

Snooki is gross of the week

TSH — Snooki’s hand smells like deep  fried beef curtaisns.

CRM — Award winning.

Welcome Home, ‘Melo

Query of the Week: If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?