The Miami Douche Is Just Messing With Us Now

Obviously, he sees nothing wrong with this outfit. He wore it in defiance because no one who puts that much time into looking that bad would ever be caught dead in the same outfit twice in a week without a damn good reason. I’m sure his closet is full of expensive and ridiculous outfits that make no sense to anyone outside his own twisted mind.

I’ll refer you to my description from last week.

He’s got a full beard and a shaved head. He’s wearing sunglasses inside. He has a giant gold bracelet and cursive tattoos on both his forearms. He’s wearing camouflage cargo shorts and a deep V-neck t-shirt. And the cherry on top of the Douchebag Sundae… He’s wearing Uggs. In Miami. In a climate that usually sees 60-degree temperatures in the evenings this time of the year. It’s all of this. Every glorious detail. He intentionally dressed like this before leaving the house.

While wearing Uggs in Miami at night could be defended if the sun were setting and he has poor circulation (just kidding, there is no excuse) yesterday’s game was a 1pm start time. A source close to Miami tells me that it was 80 degrees and overcast yesterday. Sorry if your little piggies were chilly, bro. Try socks and sneakers.

*shakes head*

Fucking Uggs in Miami, dude.

[Images via Getty, h/t]