Roundup: Americans are Stupid, Stupid American Goes to Israel, Gay Conversion App Meets Apple's Terms of Use, A-Rod Feels Healthy

Good morning, internet. Daddy McIntyre is home with his family. CRM and I have the car keys for a few more days. The lovely miss Alison Brie [via Getty].  Real Americans are stupid. Scratch that. Americans are real stupid. Wyclef might have been shot in Haiti. Estimated damage from Japan earthquake: 18,000 dead, $235 billion. Palin goes to Israel. Pretty sure my mom will forward this to me in the next 48 hours and suggest I should move.

We’ll probably run this again, but here are the announcer pairings for the Sweet 16. Gus has Florida/BYU and Wisconsin/Butler. [Turner Sports]

Don’t judge Jim Tressel too harshly. Incredibly, this wasn’t from an Ohio State site. [HuskerExtra]

Thou shalt not use your Apple product for pornography, but converting the gays is acceptable use. [Telegraph]

Five super old video game commercials. Love the Legend of Zelda rap. [Plugged In]

AT&T got really sick of those T-mobile commercials. [Reuters]

Time to “throw the book at Cooke.” [Edmonton Journal]

Billy Ray Cirus wrote a movie script for Whoopi Goldberg. [NYPost]

Definite headline of the year candidate: “Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks” [WYFF4]

Juan Agudelo, the next big thing in American soccer. [Goal]

Man steals car. Smashes owner’s front door with club and yells at him to make sure he’s aware. [ABCActionNews]

Alex Rodriguez hasn’t felt this healthy since he was using… [MLB]

NASA employees have an incredible amount of spare time.

Don’t steal parking spaces, while driving a convertible.

Allman Brothers? Allman Brothers.

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