Jeff Motuzas, Human Garbage Can: Jeff Motuzas is the longtime bullpen catcher of the Arizona Diamondbacks. He’ll eat anything. “Someone pulled something out of their nose and he ate it for $400.” I’d vomit (which, reportedly, he’d actually eat). The job of bullpen catcher pays about $60k, so Motuzas, not unlike a stripper, does “sidework” for extra cash. “He has snorted wasabi and eaten horseradish by the bowlful. He has devoured a dozen donuts and guzzled 13 bottles of water.” This concoction sounds particularly enticing: “chewing tobacco dip spit and 3-day-old chili.” Eleven bananas in four minutes. Drinking a gallon of milk in 12 minutes was worth $3k. Livan Hernandez would punch Motuzas in the groin for $50 a pop (there were $300 bonuses). Yes, rubber nunchucks made this delightful story. [WSJ]
Adam Schefter Nearly Drove Off the Road in a Blizzard When He Got a Text About the LeSean McCoy Trade
Be careful out there, sportswriters.