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Yardwork: Phil Humber One-Hits Yanks, Pirates Play in Front of Nobody

Pirates 4, Nationals 2 — It doesn’t get much better than this action shot from last night’s showdown between storied juggernauts, the Pirates and the Nationals. It would be one thing if it were the top of the first inning, but as you can see from the photo, it was the top of the fourth. And even if the weather wasn’t exactly ideal, it’s still inherently wrong to leave that lonely, loyal usher all by himself.

The poor fella should have at least been allowed to park himself in the front row and enjoy some baseball when literally no one is sitting in the entire section. As for the actual game, the bravado-filled Buccos, presumably angered by this photo being taken, scored four runs in the bottom half of the fourth as they made another valiant climb back to .500.

White Sox 2, Yankees 0 — The White Sox hadn’t scored in 23 1/3 innings and had Phil Humber, the third overall pick by the Mets in 2004, taking the hill. A blowout seemed inevitable, so naturally Humber had by far his best outing of the season, no-hitting the Yankees into the seventh until A-Rod singled with one out. After the game, Ozzie Guillen could not find a suitable establishment to have a late dinner. He’s the best.

D-Backs 4, Phillies 0 — With Cliff Lee going for the Phillies, Ian Kennedy stepped up and pitched a complete game, three-hit, 10 K shutout. But really, Ian Kennedy out-pitching Cliff Lee? What the hell was going on last night? Lee was no slouch actually, he struck out 12 over seven innings, but was killed by the long ball.

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 4 — If I’m a Blue Jays fan, I’m content with what I see so far from 23-year-old Kyle Drabek. Then again, don’t let that young age get your hopes up too much. See Hughes, Philip.

Reds 9, Brewers 5 — Jay Bruce hit a two-run shot and Bronson Arroyo covered all the bases, so why don’t you slide?

Padres 5, Braves 3, 13 innings — Ryan Ludwick hit two homers, the second one being the end-all, be-all walkoff shot in the bottom of the 13th. Dick Enberg implores you to touch ‘em all (his call was awesome), but MLB opted to instead give you the most pulseless walkoff call you’ll ever hear. Enjoy.

Angels 5, A’s 0 — It feels like each night there have been at least two guys throwing complete games. For Jered Weaver, this one would be his second in as many starts. His numbers on the season continue to impress: 45.2 IP, 26 H, 5 ER, 10 BB, 49 K. “Light that baby up” was an interesting call to end the game. Shout-out to Jeff Weaver?

Rockies 5, Cubs 3 — The Cubs committed four errors, three of which were committed by Starlin Castro and the other by starter Matt Garza, who admirably took the loss on his Troll Pencil Topper chin: “We lost tonight because I couldn’t throw the ball to first base. If I throw the ball to first base, it’s still a 3-3 ballgame and we’re still playing.” We’re days away from either he or Zambrano — preferably both — destroying the dugout with a bat. I can’t wait.

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