Twins 1, White Sox 0 — Has there ever been a more nondescript, unimpressive no-hitter? Francisco Liriano was all over the place, striking out just two and walking six. It kind of feels like the pathetic White Sox lineup no-hit Liriano. With the loss, the Twins are out of last place, leaving that coveted spot for Ozzie’s boys, who have lost seven of their last 10. Patience, Kenny and Jerry, patience. Then again, if they do decide fire him at some point, it’ll allow Ozzie more time to tweet.
Phillies 4, Nats 1 — Charlie Manuel wanted the Philly faithful to boo Jayson Werth and he got his wish. (Actually, he said he hoped they would boo him if he were to get a hit.) Werth finished 0-for-3, but in his first at-bat he did draw a walk. Cole Hamels went the distance, and save for his first start of the year which was dreadful, he’s gone seven or more innings in all of his starts.
Here’s a video of local Philadelphia baseball analysts discussing Werth’s worthlessness. The relentless wit will ooze onto your keyboard:
Indians 4, A’s 1 — Seven in a row for the Tribe as they continue to get awesome starting pitching. Fausto Carmona threw eight innings of one-run ball. I’m gonna keep saying this until it stops sounding weird: The Indians have the best record in all of baseball.
Rays 3, Blue Jays 2 — Jon Rauch did not have a productive ninth inning. He gave up a leadoff single to Ben Zobrist and then served up a two-run walkoff shot to B.J. Upton. The Rays wiry center fielder was properly rewarded with a face full of feces.
Astros 10, Reds 4 — The Astros pounded Mike Leake for seven hits and seven runs. Is it possible they were steeeeealing signs? Zing. Houston has won three straight and no longer own the worst record in baseball. That title belongs to the White Sox.
Cubs 4, Dodgers 1 — Andre Ethier’s streak is now at 29 games. Kind of relieved I didn’t jinx him yesterday. I noticed Kerry Wood pitched an inning so I decided to check in on his stats to see how he’s doing and was surprised to see how well he’s been pitching. I thought for sure going back to the Cubs would be his kryptonite.
Tigers 4, Yankees 2 — The Tigers have been losing a lot, so it’s only fair we discuss a rare victory thanks to some crappy Yankee base-running. Brad Penny has made seven starts this year and this was the second one (6 IP, 0 ER) in which he showed some signs of life. Derek Jeter was 1-for-4. Plans to remove the Yankee logo from his batting helmet are reportedly underway.
Red Sox 7, Angels 3 — Monday night they ruined the Jered Weaver show. Last night they ruined the Dan Haren show. He had his worst start of the season. If you were a major league hitter, would you not do everything you could to ensure you played 81 games at Fenway Park? Then again, you’d be surrounded by Boston women, most of whom have boxer’s chins. Guess there’s a downside to everything.
[Photo via Getty]