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Yardwork: Beltran Hits 3 Homers; Tony La Russa Imposter Makes Debut

Kyle Lohse dressed up as Tony La Russa before the Cards 9-1 victory over the Cubs yesterday and insisted on taking the lineup card to home plate. After some prodding, acting manager Joe Pettini went along with the joke. The playful shoutout to his manager, who is home resting with alligator bites, is more than enough to get me to stop wondering aloud if Lohse slept with Yoda in exchange for magical pitching powers this season. As for actual baseball, Jaime Garcia went seven and permitted just one run to cross the plate. He’s 5-0. Of course he is.

Mets 9, Rockies 5 — Carlos Beltran belted three home runs. That sentence just gave the New York Post a boner. Despite the huge day offensively, Mets fans watching at home reportedly did not like the way Beltran trotted around the bases, so everything in life is still his fault and there’s not much that can ever change that. Ubaldo Jiménez walked six batters. He’s been atrocious.

Pirates, Dodgers, Postponed — Clint Hurdle is doing a splendid job in changing the culture of the Pirates clubhouse. When’s the last time a member of this team was benched for not playing hard? Perhaps the Buccos are changing after all. My only message to Andrew McCutchen is this: Watch some film of Derek Jeter playing baseball. Hustle, hustle, hustle. [Note from the author: That’s called sarcasm]

Braves 6, Nats 5, 10 innings — M. Prado went 2-for-4 with a home run and 4 RBI, but his incredibly hostile demeanor continues to be a concern for Atlanta. The Braves won it in the 10th on Brian McCann’s walkoff single.

Royals 11, Yankees 5 — Eric Hosmer went 3-for-5 and hit another home run. This appears as though it’s going to be a fun one. Alex Gordon is seething with Jan Brady levels of jealousy.

Giants 3, D-Backs 2 — Matt Cain pitched into the seventh inning for the second consecutive start and allowed two runs while striking out seven. His ongoing struggle to grow stubble remains an imposing uphill battle.

Rays 7, Indians 4 — James Shields has been a beast and the Rays have the best road record in baseball. Amazingly, this is the first time Shields has beaten the Indians. Also, the Rays have seized control of first place!

O’s 2, Mariners 1, 12 innings — He’s no Eric Hosmer, but impressive rookie Zack Britton went nine dominant innings. The O’s deserved to win this game based on that alone. Derek Lee said described the extra inning, walkoff victory as “a character-building win.” They should really build character more often.

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