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Jared Lorenzen Ate Jared Lorenzen

Jared Lorenzen, Now an Even Fatter Happy Fat Guy: The portly fella is currently playing in the UIFL. “Lorenzen initially was hired to be the River Monsters’ general manager but got the itch to play again. He leads the UIFL in passing yards (256.6 yards per game) and efficiency (107.1 rating), and he is second with 69 touchdown passes.” The team hilariously has his weight listed at 290, which is more likely to be the weight of the “22” area pictured at right. If we’re lucky, Lorenzen will soon reenact the pie-eating scene from Stand By Me. [via Hot Clicks]

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