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Memorial Day Movies Are The Worst. Is The Hangover 2 Any Different?

Memorial Day weekend kicks off the Summer movie season. Last year was the worst Memorial Day weekend in 17 years with bombs like Sex In The City 2 and Prince of Persia polluting screens across the country. This year, The Hangover 2 will try to correct that.

Reviews for Hangover 2 have been mixed. Internet denizens Will Leitch and Jimmy Traina both said it sucked. I’ve also seen some commenters / Twitterers say that it was funny. Vince at FilmDrunk says its good and Roger Ebert’s review was supposed to be negative, but kind of made it sound like I would want to see it.

(The Tree of Life and Kung Fu Panda 2 also open this weekend, but who cares about those movies!)

Now here are the biggest Memorial Day weekend openings of all-time. I only saw a couple of them, but I have very strong opinions on all of them. As you’ll notice from the list, most big Memorial Day weekend openings are sequels. I’m guessing because people’s brains are too fried from beer and barbecue smoke to handle an original thought on the first long weekend of the summer. That’s why The Hangover 2 has a chance to be a huge hit. It likely won’t replace the original as the biggest R-Rated comedy of all-time, but its sequel-itutde should serve it well this weekend.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At The World’s End
Ugh. The first one was OK. Then Johnny Depp dropped the pretentious “I don’t make sequels” line, became a bigger, richer star and stopped making movies that people with brains actually enjoy.

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
As a child, I loved the original Indiana Jones films. They still hold up fairly well. From everything I hear about this, it sucks. Shai LaBouf tries to save a Pepsi machine? What does Indy have to do with that shit?

3. X-Men: The Last Stand
What a tease of a title. I can’t decide why the new X-Men movie looks so bad, but then I realize that James McAvoy was in Wanted. Dear lord. You can keep it.

4. The Lost World: Jurrasic Park
Can you believe this was Vince Vaughn’s first big role after Swingers? No wonder he now works regularly with Kevin James.

5. The Day After Tomorrow
A non-sequel? Where do they get off opening a non-sequel on Memorial Day weekend? I saw this movie and it wasn’t the worst. That’s pretty high praise I think.

6. Bruce Almighty
Yet another film that was forgettable in its mediocrity. Of course,

7. Pearl  Harbor
“This movie is the second worst thing to ever happen to Pearl Harbor.” – Every Stand Up Comedian 10 Years Ago

8. Mission Impossible II
I saw the first MI film. I could have seen the second. It’s entirely possible. See? This is the definition Memorial Day movie. If I watched it tomorrow would I know for sure if I had seen it before? No. Hey hey hey…

9. Night At The Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
I saw part of this on HBO a couple weeks ago. Amy Adams is cute.

10. Madagascar
This is the only film on this list that I have fond memories of. That could just be because penguins are awesome.

[Images via Getty]

 

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