It figures that Albert Pujols homers four times in a three game series against the Chicago Cubs after hitting just two long balls in his previous 37 games. Of course, two of the homers happened to be scrotum-stomping walkoffs with yesterday’s coming in the 10th inning for a dramatic 3-2 Cardinals win, just a day after a two-out walkoff shot from Albie in the bottom of the 12th. I’m guessing Cubs fans would have preferred to lose Saturday and Sunday by a combined 15 runs rather than watch everyone at Bush Stadium dance as if no one were watching in back-to-back extra inning wins.
In case members of Cubbie Nation were curious, Albert’s spastic strut towards home plate yesterday was done for the sole purpose of providing another lasting memory on your loss-stained brain. The series sweep puts Chicago’s losing streak at six. On the bright side, Al B. Sure is a free agent after the season, remember? On the even brighter side, Carlos Zambrano is taking it all in stride and publicly has the back of his teammates with unwavering support and compassion, but not really:
“We’re playing like a Triple-A team Zambrano said. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing for the team, for the owners. Embarrassing for the fans. We should know that Ryan Theriot is not a good fastball hitter, we should know that as a team. We stink. That’s all I have to say.”
That’s quite a nice dig at Carlos Marmol, who served up the game-tying double to Theriot in the ninth. My advice: This team is begging to busted open like a puss-filled whitehead with a hint of yellow. Just get it over with.
Rangers 2, Indians 0 — Wow, a four-game sweep of the Tribe? That’s the first time Texas has done so in nearly 33 years. C. J. Wilson was terrific, allowing just three hits over 7 2-3 innings and striking out seven. So what’s happening here? The Indians “hold” on the AL Central is suddenly a mere 2.5 games. My prediction of Chief Wahoo’s boys surrendering first place by the end of June is looking prettttt-tty, prettttt-tty, prett-tty good.
Tigers 7, White Sox 3 — Jake Peavey went four innings and served up six runs on three hits and three walks, but the bulk of the damage came thanks to a grand slam from good old, Ryan Raburn.
Phils 7, Pirates 3 — Thanks to Doc the Phillies avoided a sweep at the hands of the Pirates. And thanks to Charlie Morton on Saturday night, I don’t owe commenters across the country a shipment of Chipwiches. He came damn close though, he’s a pretty good pitcher. Also, the 28-30 Pirates are flirting with .500 again. I thought this crap was over.
Dogers 9, Reds 6 — Chad Billingsley went deep, doubled and walked with the bases loaded. I’d say that more than makes up for the four runs he allowed over five innings of work. Matt Kemp continues to have an awesome season. He was 2-for-3 with a two-homer and he also walked three times.
Yankees 5, Angels 3 — After losing the first two games of a nine game road trip, the Yankees woke up — particularly Mark Teixeira — and return to New York for a 10-game homestand going a respectable 6-3 on the West Coast swing.
Mets 6, Braves 4 — Even when you have some positive news for the Mets, it’s always topped off with a splash of negative. With the win and a very good outing from R.A. Dickey (8 IP, 4 H, 1 ER) comes the dreaded but all too familiar “day-to-day” news for Carlos Beltan, who fouled a ball off his leg.
Brewers 6, Marlins 5, 11 innings — Holy hell, do you think the Marlins could have sold out a minor league park yesterday? To be fair though, the weather looks crappy and the seats were rumored to be equipped with impromptu ass-cheek squeezers.
So Buster Posey is in good spirits? Well I must say, I’m beyond delighted to hear it. He’s been nothing but a class act throughout this entire ordeal that really should have never been an ordeal. Here’s Posey: “I was ready to get out of the house, and I wanted to see these guys to let everyone know I’m fine.” Listen dickhead, you got hit by a baseball player, not a runaway hearse. Enough with the theatrics. Screw him, screw Brian Sabean and screw the Giants.
[Photo via Getty]