Weekly Top Five: NBA Draft, Rory McIlroy and Tennis

As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters. Heidi comes to us courtesy of The Superficial.

1. NBA Draft
CRM — You and I are friends so I won’t try to pretend I care about where anyone besides Jimmer went. Jimmer Jam was underwhelming and ESPN didn’t show up, but it was cool to see the POY trophies up close. I was home in time to watch the first pick and so on. Anyway, Go Kings!

TSH — This year’s draft was expectedly disappointing as it lacked… players, but the picture gallery from Jimmer Jam linked above makes it difficult for me to digest it being even remotely underwhelming.

TSH — If Tiger could just get healthy, I swear I’d be watching each and every tournament that both he and Rory play in.

3. Wimbledon
TSH — Despite frequently sporting a facial expression that comes across as evil as Jude Law’s character in “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” I’m rooting for Roger Federer because I’ve come to appreciate his level of greatness. He’s won Wimbledon six times. Lucky number seven sounds about right. The real hope though is that Serpenis Williams will soon lose so she can frolic on the beach like a graceful professional wrestler.

CRM — I like any sporting event that is on when I wake up in the morning. It keeps me from catching SportsCenter three or four times or from hearing a second of Mike & Mike. Also,

TSH — Also what?

4. College Football Scandal
CRM — Even smaller programs are going through shit this week. If your kids aren’t driving cars they probably shouldn’t be driving then they’re shooting BB guns on campus or selling pot brownies.

TSH — The scandals have been muted for the moment thanks to a selfless player from the University of South Florida who saved a man’s life. The feel good vibe in college football should last about 10 minutes and then it’s back to poisoning trees and composing impressive zingers on various message boards.

5 Jack McKeon Saves the Marlins
TSH — Jack McKeon benched Hanley, thought Twitter was the name of Logan Morrison’s dog, and smoked a cigar in the dugout upon conclusion of his first game back, which was a loss. He would get along swimmingly with Lou Brown.

CRM — It now takes the Florida Marlins 10 innings to lose games. No more of that whimper out in 9 BS.

5b. Ricky Rubio Is Here

CRM — Ricky Rubio is hip-hop. This kid had better be worth the wait. Just look at the swagger he showed last night.

TSH — Ricky Rubio looks like he sounds exactly like Penelope Cruz. That can’t be a good thing. This whole thing feels like Milos Vujanic but with better hair.

Honorable Mention
Beadle back on the market … Game of Thrones … Amanda Seyfried needs the sun … a fucking hat!

This breakdancing gorilla (and the inclusion of LFO’s Summer Girls) led to an epic thread, bro.