Yardwork: Cliff Lee's in the Zone like Jordan
By Tim Ryan
Clifton Phifer Lee. This guy is amazing and worth every penny the Phillies are paying him. Last night was his third consecutive complete game shutout, as he impressively held the Red Sox to two measly hits and helped his own cause with a sac fly in the bottom of the fifth. Yes, he even wrote a hit play. His scoreless innings tally is up to 32 innings and his numbers for the month of June are simply stunning: 42 IP, 1 ER, 8 BB, 29 K with a hilarious ERA of 0.21. What a freak. It’s gotten to the awkward point where I find myself rooting for a team that I otherwise can’t stand. Here is Lee on being able to hit: “You feel more like a baseball player in the National League versus the American League. In the American League, you’re a pitcher. Over here you’ve gotta pitch and hit, run the bases, feel like a baseball player.” It’s nice Cliffy feels like a real baseball player, but the absence of a DH would mean the elimination of past and present fatties like Matt Stairs and David Ortiz. We can’t have that. Regardless, what a performance. What a pitcher.
Mets 14, Tigers 3 — Jose Reyes went 4-for-4 with two singles, a double and another triple. He was taken out thanks to the Mets chunky lead and missed out on a chance for the cycle but I’m sure Mets fans were just fine with that. Reyes needs to be in a contract year every year because what he’s doing on the bases right now is the equivalent of what Cliff Lee has been doing on the mound. I keep expecting him to stall or at least slow down a bit, but that doesn’t appear to be part of the plan. A Mets player hadn’t hit a grand slam in 299 games, so last night they made up for it and hit two, one from Jason Bay and one from Carlos Beltran. Beltran’s quote on hitting one was full of sizzle: “I love RBIs, so that’s good.” What a guy.
A’s 1, Marlins 0 — Gio Gonzalez shutout the Marlins for eight innings of one-run ball. He also struck nine. Jack MeKeon probably smoked a cigar.
D-Backs 6, Indians 4 — Wily Mo Pena hit a walkoff shot in the ninth. I cannot wait to see which teams attempt to acquire his services at the trade deadline. I predicted the Indians would be out of first place by the end of June. Looks like I’m going to be right. My apologies to Chief Wahoo, as he remains my favorite logo in all of sports.
Rays 4, Reds 3 — Another walkoff! Over his last four games, Evan Longoria has seven hits, three of which were doubles and three of which were home runs. That gives many fantasy owners a proud, satisfying woody. Johnny Damon is one hit away from tying Ted Williams on the all-time hit list, which obviously means he’s Cooperstown bound.
Cards 6, O’s 2 — Ryan Franklin’s pitching has gotten to the point of disbelief. His line for the evening? 0.1 IP, 3 H, 2 ER. If there were a proper visual aid to indicate just how far he has fallen, it would be a portrait of obscenely saggy pancake tits nearly skimming the ground. I remain in awe.
Yanks 12, Brewers 2 — Zack Greinke had one of his most forgettable outings in recent memory. In two innings of “work” he hit a batter, threw a wild pitch, walked three and allowed seven runs. Nyjer Morgan’s ridiculous error in the first inning, which was somehow not scored an error, did not help Greinke’s cause.
Rangers 7, Astros 3 — There have been complaints from commenters/readers that the Rangers are either picked on or not included, neither of which I was aware of. Ian Kinsler went 2-for-3 with a homer and two walks. Perhaps he’s getting his shit together? I was expecting bigger things from Ian this season.
Braves 5, Mariners 4 — Looking at the box score for this one was amazing in that Scott Proctor is still an active relief pitcher. Hilarious.
Giants 13, Cubs 7, Giants 6, Cubs 3 — To no surprise, the streaking Giants swept a doubleheader against the Cubbies with one win that included seven innings from Mr. Barry Zito. They’ve ripped off seven straight while the Cubs have ripped off their season ticket holders.