I suppose praising Brian Cashman yesterday for his economically sound acquisition of Bartolo Colon was a bit much for the baseball gods to handle, as the honeymoon appears to be over. Here’s his gorgeous line for the evening: 0.2 IP, 6 H, 8 R (3 ER), 2 BB, 0 K. Eduardo Nunez did his best impression of Melky Cabrera when he was first called up and dropped a fly ball in shallow left that certainly didn’t help Bloat-olo’s cause, but let’s be realistic, he was awful no matter how you slice it. The last two outings for the hungry fella haven’t been so pretty. And any time he attempts to cover the bag at first, it looks like he might never recover physically. But fear not, Yankee fans, as long as CC Sabathia wins the rest of his starts and Phil Hughes miraculously begins to top out at 96, the division is yours. And yes, sounding the alarm one game into the second half of the season is completely reasonable. The Blue Jays won by a final score of 16-7 and Frank Frank almost pitched a flawless ninth. Jose Bautista, however, has been lost for at least the next day or two with a twisted right ankle.
Indians 8, O’s 4 — Here’s a new one, the Orioles lost! The rule has officially been changed: The only time I don’t provide a clip from The Wire is when the O’s actually win a baseball game. There are just too many good clips for us to see, we can’t depend on winning streaks from this sad bunch. Asdrubal Cabrera went 2-for-5 with a home run. He’s a pretty good shortstop who now stands just 2,491 hits shy of 3,000 for his career.
Rockies 12, Brewers 3 — If you weren’t expecting a combined seven hits and nine RBIs from Cole Garner, Ryan Spilborghs and Mark Ellis you’re simply not paying close enough attention. Yovani Gallardo had easily one of his worst starts of the year, going four innings and allowing 6 runs on 11 hits. The Brewers staff as a whole gave up 20 hits. Ubaldo got the win and has been great over his last five starts.
Marlins 6, Cubs 3 — So Matt Garza went seven shutout innings and the Cubs lost. Interesting team we have here, and by interesting I mean awful. Carlos Marmol walked the first three batters he faced and then promptly served up a bases clearing double. That’s usually how you draw it up with your closer on the mound. He followed that up with another walk and then hit the showers. Inspiring stuff.
Giants 6, Padres 2, 12 innings — Aubrey Huff homered off of Heath Bell in the ninth to tie things up and eventually poured it on with five runs in the top of the 12th, but let’s stick to the important stuff… is Carlos Beltran going to be a San Francisco Giant? This seems like a splendid fit, mostly because he’d be escaping the media trap that has made him so incredibly miserable since fatefully agreeing to play baseball in Flushing, Queens.
Twins 8, Royals 4 — Beginning the second half of the season opposing Bruce Chen is always a treat. It’s definitely a sign for the Twinkies. I would mention how close they are to climbing the .500 hill, but I feel as though I’ve jinxed them enough. Jason Lisk’s boy toy Eric Hosmer went 1-for-3 with a walk but left two men on base and struck out. He’s a disgrace to the uniform.
Rangers 5, Mariners 0 — Derek Holland pitched his second consecutive complete game shutout after getting urinated on by the Marlins (0.2 IP, 5 ER) in his previous outing. Ichiro went 0-for-4. Again.
[Photo via Getty]