Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari's Wedding Registries

Being celebrities, of course they’re getting married on a holiday weekend. Real people hate that, but since celebrities don’t have real schedules like normal people, there’s no difference between the weekend after the 4th of July and any other day in the summer.

The Culter-Cavallari registry doesn’t have anything quite as exciting as Joe Flacco’s registry, but there are some telling items. The first wishes to be fulfilled were for the 20-oz beer glasses and 2.5 ounce shot glasses. How else do you entertain athletes and reality starlets? Booze. Also, it looks like either Kristin or Jay like to bake. Maybe they’re just going through the motions because one of their mothers said they couldn’t just put down a hundred jet skis? That’s what I would do if I were rich. Because what do I need five pie dishes for when I can afford a personal baker?

As for the Williams & Sonoma stuff, it’s a bit more pricey. I assume this is where Devin Hester’s personal assistant will be shopping. I’m a little surprised that Culter doesn’t already own this waffle maker. If I were a professional athlete, this waffle maker would be the first thing I would buy (Well, after the jet ski). There’s just something about a $300 waffle maker that screams “status symbol.” If I had that waffle maker, I would bring it to my high school reunion.

And you wonder about Cutler on the sidelines when he’s injured. This is him sitting front row while his fiancée walks down a runway and people stare at her ass and take cell phone pictures. You think Jay Culter is crying on the sideline because of a little torn MCL? Hell no. He’s dead inside and he fills that void with pie and waffles. And that’s why the Bears will never win an important game again.

[Sun-Times, Getty]