Yankee third baseman and renowned handbag enthusiast, Alex Rodriguez is being investigated by Major League Baseball for participating in above-ground illegal poker games, one of which reportedly took place in the home of a record executive where cocaine was rumored to be present and, gasp, openly used. Imagine that, cocaine not only in the presence of a professional athlete, but being consumed. Next we’ll learn a gaggle of girls with obscenely large breasts were in the near vicinity of the poker table, reeking of stripper perfume and shallow intentions.
A-Rod apparently also participated in a game where a fight broke out after someone refused to pay a losing sum of “more than a half-million dollars.”
One of the larger problems here is that A-Rod was already warned by Bird Selig back in 2005 to put an end to any participation in underground poker clubs, so his apparent disregard for the commish’s edict comes across as not only arrogant, but serves as a blatant slap to Selig’s lavish nest. I would venture to guess it has more than likely inspired Bird to place extra vultures on his team of investigators.
“We’re talking to people involved in the investigation and we’re taking this very seriously,” said an MLB executive. “Because he had been warned about this before, I would say a possible suspension would be very much in play … I could see us trying to pursue this a lot further. The truth is still out there somewhere.”
This alleged poker ring is said to have also included Tobey Maguire, Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. When you’ve got Spider-Man, the star of “Surviving Christmas,” and fierce rivals Bill Costigan and Colin Sullivan in the same room, not to mention a notoriously fickle baseball star, fists are a lock to fly.
A-Rod is currently in Miami rehabbing his knee and dining with Cameron Diaz, so neither he or his representatives were available for comment.