Yardwork: Yadier Molina Bumps Ump, Spits on Him
By Tim Ryan
Or was that just sweat? Or was there a second spitter? It certainly looks as though Molina is putting extra umph into spit producing letters like “T’s” and “P’s” but he claims he was just really, reeeeeeeally sweaty.
“He was pushing at me,” Molina said. ”I would never spit on any face of a man. That’s not me. I was so sweaty, my face was so sweaty and I was yelling, yelling at him. I would never spit on anybody’s face.'”
Whatever the intention, he took the safer route than what Roberto Alomar did to John Hirschbeck back in 1996 because it could easily be considered an unfortunate and quite convenient case of inadvertent loogie. The Yadier-ump showdown took place in the 10th inning, but earlier on both Albert Pujols and Ryan Braun were plunked, in that order. Tony La Russa of course, did not take very kindly to questions about hitting Braun. The Cardinals pitcher’s pitch inside, but they pitch safely inside. The Brewers pitch inside irresponsibly like a merciless gang of street thugs. Don’t question Tony or his mullet. He begins by discussing Molina, who wasn’t SPitting, he was SPeaking:
Until all of consider the potential danger of the pitches thrown at Albert Pujols, none of us will understand baseball like Tony La Russa. He’s comically touchy. Kind of wish I saw his postgame interviews on a nightly basis.
O’s 8, Royals 2 — The Orioles won a baseball game! Emotion was certainly involved here as the O’s got revenge on former teammate Bruce Chen, who bolted town for greener pastures – both literally and figuratively – to Kansas City. Eric Hosmer went 2-for-4 with an RBI inspiring TBL writer Jason Lisk to hop out of his seat and inexplicably perform the “I’m a little teapot” routine. He’s been suspended indefinitely by both the Royals and the powers that be at Big Lead Sports.
Nats 9, Braves 3 — Derek Lowe got a federal pounding of the ass to the tune of eight runs on 10 hits. The guy could probably use a night of sports reporter poon or a long boozy night at The Rack in Boston, even though it no longer exists, to get himself back on track. Worth noting the Braves would be in first place right now in both the NL Central and NL West, two divisions that excel in mediocrity.
Tigers 6, Rangers 5 — Rangers starter Colby Lewis generously served up 10 hits, five runs and walked three over four innings. And the Rangers are the favorites to come out of the AL? Give me a break. Great bats, but their starting pitching is hardly scary enough to make them worthy of the word “favorites.” Right now it has to be the Boston Red Sox. Detroit reliever Joaquin Benoit (1 IP, 2, 3 ER, 2 HR, 1 BB) is a baffling disgrace and should be forced to sit in the corner for at least a week.
Cubs 11, Pirates 6 — Oh Pittsburgh Pirates, where hath gone thy winning ways? With last night’s loss, the Buccos are back to .500. But see, being disappointed over the fact the Pirates are “back to .500” tells you the significant strides they’ve made this season. Nice to see Clint Hurdle finally decided to use Joel Hanrahan when his club is down by a couple field goals. Yes, Hanrahan needed work, but only because Hurdle refuses to use him when he’s supposed to use him.
D-Backs 6, Giants 1 — Daniel Hudson went eight innings and allowed one run on six hits. He’s another fine example of a decent Diamondbacks pitcher (see: Kennedy, Ian) who escaped the wrath of the American League for a happier, more pleasant experience in the inferior NL. Justin Upton has five homers in his last eight games and rookie Paul Goldschmidt hit his first major league home run in just his second game in the bigs. Now pat your chest twice and point to the sky.
Thanks to Matt Sebek of the great JoeSportsFan, we’re privy to this gem: