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The Yankees Invade Fenway Park Tonight

When most people think of baseball they think of the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, two teams whose legs are often seen being dry-humped on a yearly basis with the vigor of a sex-starved Jeff Van Gundy. Most of those thoughts, however, are awful ones. While media outlets like ESPN continue to embrace the rivalry even though it’s become tragically stale and a bit punchless, many fans detest it, and part of that hostility is due to the games lasting close to four hours and Joe Buck’s insistence on doing broadcasts in the nude. Sadly, there’s really not a whole lot we can do about either of those things.

So now that your appetite for baseball is wetter than Chris Berman’s armpits, can I interest you in a little Red Sox-Yankees? These inseparable colleagues are currently tied for first place, which means by the end of the weekend, they won’t be. If that’s not enough buzz to put a little kick in your wine spritzer, you probably already have plans with the Upton sisters. Tonight’s pitching match-up features Jon Lester and unexpected pitching contributor, Bloat-olo Colon. Enjoy the enjoyment.

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