A Plea to Northwestern: Go with the House of Bruise

Now, though, NU has a chance to transcend its deserved obscurity with its choice of playing surface at Welsh-Ryan Arena. Three of the four options it’s considering are perfectly serviceable: big, bold designs that are neither bigger nor bolder than any other BCS-conference school’s latest overhauls. Only one of the choices will have you staring. A purple lane, surrounded by white inside the three-point arc — and then nothing but purple from coast-to-coast, with that Decepticonish “N” in white at center court. Northwestern — staid, brainy, hapless — is eyeing the bouncing-Cadillac of college basketball floors. (The Chicago Tribune, not exactly known for such cheekiness, offered its own suggestions.)

It drew instant comparisons to Boise State’s all-blue abomination of a football field, and frankly Northwestern should welcome the association. Boise State went from a backwoods State-that-ain’t-even-a-state school to unquestioned national power in a relatively short span, and if Smurf Turf played a role, maybe there’s something to calling an eyesore your home field. I’m thinking the Chicago House of Bruise.

Northwestern’s last word on the floor was a cryptic tweet this week that didn’t exactly inspire confidence that the school intended to shock the world: “Sorry that we need to postpone today’s expected release of the new basketball court design. A few minor details still need to be worked out.” Every time something potentially amazing gets postponed for no apparent reason, you can usually be sure someone trying to act like an adult is busy screwing it up.

But the building sorely needs some new distinctions. When I think of NU hoops, I remember attending games there as an undergrad. There was the season-opening loss to Siena in 1997 followed by a season-opening loss to Maine in 1998 and an 18-point loss to mighty La Salle early in 1999. There was the 6-point first-half output against unranked Illinois later that year in a 63-30 loss, and the buzzer-beating trey by Pepperdine to beat the Cats early in 2000. The one time we ever rushed the floor, that I remember, was when Northwestern upset #14 Purdue in January of 1999. (That’s right: stormed the court for downing number fourteen Purdue.) The Cats were 12-6. Talk turned to the Big Dance. Then NU went on to win two more games all year. The next season, a 5-25 debacle, made those look like the good ol’ days.

Lately, though, the Cats have been on a comparative roll, with two straight 20-win seasons. So what if they still haven’t been above .500 in the Big Ten since 1960 — there has been progress. One day, the Cats will break through, surrounded by a sea of purple, and then, quite rightly, we will all be floored.