Well this sounds rather awful, disgusting and painful. A homeless moth seeking new lodging flew into Matt Holliday’s right ear in the eighth inning of last night’s game and settled in for a rest. The moth actually became lodged in the canal of his ear and Holliday, in obvious pain, was taken out of the game. According to stltoday.com, he was brought into a dark room “in hopes that the moth would seek light and fly out of the ear on its own.” Amazing. That ruse failed to work, so a trainer ended up using a pair of tweezers to reach deep into the canal of his ear and remove the moth, who was still alive. I honestly might vomit. I also wonder if Holliday greeted the moth with a swift smash of the fist. If so, he’ll no doubt be hearing from the reasonable folks at PETA. Oh, and the Cards lost 2-1 to the Dodgers, who scored both runs in the ninth. Of course they did. The Brewers and Pirates split a doubleheader so Milwaukee’s lead remains at nine games. Yes, Cardinals fans, the season is over.
Phils 10, Mets 0 — Cliff Lee was unsurprisingly dominant but the real story in this one was Angel Pagan’s uncontrollable need to poop in the top of the fifth inning and in turn, nearly missing his at-bat: “I told the trainer, I have to go to the bathroom. When you’re up fourth in the inning and you have to do that, it’s just not fun. When I finished, I looked at the TV, and I see Nick Evans, 3-2.” He made it to the plate and grounded out on the first pitch he saw. I’m guessing problematic gas persisted even after going to the bathroom and he needed to sit down immediately. Terry Collins was not pleased with any of this, so he removed Pagan from the game. Only the Mets can get crapped on and still find an additional way to bring poop into the storyline.
Braves 3, Cubs 0 — Jar Jar Jurrjens is back! The Braves “ace” somehow gave up eight hits and walked five batters but still managed to go 6 1-3 shutout innings. Cy Young numbers for sure.
Tigers 5, Rays 2 — Justin Verlander pitched seven innings of three-hit ball, allowing one run and striking out eight. He’s the best pitcher in baseball right now and it’s acceptable to admit that even if you’re a Phillies fan. Tigers or Rangers in the first round of the playoffs? As a Yankees fan, I’ll take a bye. Someone get Bird Selig on the horn so we can make this happen.
Nats 4, D-Backs 1 — Is the fairytale season coming to an end for Arizona much like it did for the Pirates a month ago? They have lost six straight games. While still in first place and the wheels still attached to the vehicle, they’re definitely driving with three flats and barely any gas. And that’s exactly what we want. An NL postseason without Timmy Lincecum wouldn’t be nearly as fun, and I say that from both a baseball standpoint as much as I say it from a fashion one.
Rangers 4, Red Sox 0 — So, a Rangers-Tigers ALCS? What a dream match-up for baseball fans who do not care for the sizzle factor.
[Photo via StlToday]