NBA

Kim Kardashian's Wedding A Brilliant Ploy To Sell More Sex Tapes

Everyone knows that the internet is putting a huge dent in the sale of pornography. Rentals behind beaded curtains are at an all-time low. Independent, amateur film makers are becoming the stars while professional pornographic actors and actresses are stuck living hand-to-mouth. It’s sad.

Enter Kim Kardashian. The media mega-star married her longtime boyfriend Kris Humphries in an intimate ceremony with an elusive guest list of 450 people that you had to be there to see live. Otherwise you’ll have to wait 2 months for the wedding special to air on E!. That may seem like it’s right around the corner, but it’s actually a fifth of the Humphries-Kardashian relationship, so it’s kind of an eternity.

As you already know, Kardashian made a sex-tape with Moesha’s brother Ray-J. This was very important and made Kim and her entire family famous cry real tears because they could never be left alone by the paparazzi again. Honestly, it’s a tale as old as time and I tear up just thinking about it. Leave these poor people alone. Their father didn’t fight for a people’s O.J. Simpsons’ freedom so that his family would be hounded by television cameras in faux-story lines every week.

Where was I? Oh yes, the pornography thing. Kim banged Ray-J and then they both got reality shows. (Moesha didn’t get the career bump the Kardashians did. Probably because she’s not half the woman Khloe Kardashian is.)

That seemed like a great idea at the time, but these days Kim has to rely on her multiple reality shows and clothing companies and appearance fees. Again, very sad. Why can’t she just earn a decent living off her sex tape?

Wait! Good news! TMZ is reporting that the Kim Kardashian sex tape website exploded during her wedding weekend.

roughly 2 MILLION people visited KimKsuperstar.com between Friday and Sunday night … a HUGE boost from the average weekend traffic.

In fact, the site only averages 300k unique visitors PER MONTH

RANDOM capitals. Can YOU believe those NUMbers? This is great news since the couple were going to have to get by on the $18 million they made from the wedding. There’s a lockout after all.

This just proves that Kardashian remains the most media savvy adult entertainer on the market today. Think about it. She’s only made one movie, which she sold for $5,000,000. Plus, I’m guessing she’s getting some on the… uh… back end of the deal. I’m sorry. There was really no other way to say it.

The hits just keep on coming for Kim and Kris. New Jersey teammates have apparently nicknamed Humphries “Princess Kate.” They’ll celebrate in New York with a second wedding party before dashing off to Europe for some alone time with what I’m assuming will be a small camera crew that might not even fill a private airplane. Kim’s right. God really is good.

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