Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview: Week 1

Video
Feel free to send in some big explosion video. Pig. Duck. Whatever. For now, Aneurysm.

See, I feel like I wasted the big intro with the chicken wing references last night. Next week we’ll have the Week 1 awfulness to reflect on. For today – and Sunday – let’s focus on the glorious return of the NFL.

Pick’emsplosion
CRM Season: 1-0
Lisk Season: 0-1

(Lines via Bodog)

Steelers (+1.5) @ Ravens
CRM: The battle of Wafflemaker vs. Jet Ski. A classic. I swear people keep saying the Ravens are going to be awesome this year, but then I remember they have Joe Flacco as quarterback. Don’t you see why I’m so torn on Baltimore? (pick: Ravens -1.5)

Lisk: Ben Roethlisberger beats Joe Flacco in the battle of the summer wedding registries. Flacco probably held on to stuff he didn’t want for too long and now they won’t refund it. (pick: Steelers +1.5)

Lions (+1) @ Buccaneers
CRM: Two more teams that are supposed to make some big impressive leap. Obviously, it’s the Lions who are supposed to make the bigger leap as they try to move from “awful” to “pause before clicking to the next game.” (pick: Bucs -1)

Lisk: I know people like to wax poetic about the Bears and Packers in the NFC North, but this matchup is what the old Norris division was really all about–one team that plays in a dome and wears Honolulu Blue against another with orange creamsicle uniforms. This one definitely decides the second best quarterback from the 2009 draft, and if you disagree remember neither of these guys will have four playoff road wins by the end of the year. (pick: Detroit +1)

Lisk: The Bears were in the championship game, and are getting no respect here. Other teams with 10 wins the previous year who opened the season as a home dog over the last decade went 4-6, so the lack of respect thing only takes you so far. This one’s a coin flip for me. The coin said . . . (Bears +3)

Bills (+5.5) @ Chiefs
CRM: The Bill still stink right? Just imagine if Goodell had allowed Michael Vick to sign with Buffalo. They’d be the prohibitive Super Bowl favorites and Chan Gaily’s quest to be undefeated wouldn’t seem so silly. (Chiefs -5.5)

Lisk: The Chiefs and Bills weren’t separated by as much as the records indicate last year, but played different schedules. When they played in Arrowhead a year ago, Kansas City survived in overtime despite Buffalo having the ball on multiple occasions in the Chiefs’ half. Injuries to Moeaki and Baldwin still have the offense limited, Cassel has sore ribs, and the Bills’ revamped defense is healthy for now. (Bills +5.5)

Colts (+8.5) @ Texans
CRM: I’ve long been a detractor of the overall impact of quarterbacks on the outcome of a football game. I think a serviceable Kerry Collins can keep Indy in competition this year. Though, if the Colts do free fall and win the Andrew Luck Lottery, it would be awesome to see a David Robinson – Tim Duncan twin towers thing in Indy. Can you imagine Luck and Manning lining up behind center at the same time next season? It would change the game. (Colts +8.5)

Lisk: I’ve already written about the 10 point swing in the line with Manning’s injury. In addition, since 2000, while teams favored by a touchdown or more on opening day are 24-7 straight up, they are only 13-18 against the spread. Do you trust the Texans to cover a large number and get off to a rousing start as the newfound clear favorites? (pick: Colts +8.5)

Eagles (-5) @ Rams
CRM: While the Eagles don’t have the cohesion yet to be the juggernaut everyone wants to think they think they are, as long as Vick and the rest of the Philly roster is healthy, they’re one of the most dangerous teams in the league. Hell, just a healthy Vick is dangerous. Also, being the favorite in the NFC West is like being the favorite in the NFC West – it doesn’t mean much. (Eagles -5)

Lisk: The Eagles are a disaster along the line, and the Rams are the favorites of many to win the West. So of course, I like Vick, Jackson and company in this one. (pick: Eagles -5)

Lisk: See comment above about teams favored by a touchdown on opening day. Throw in a division rivalry in Ohio where home field isn’t as strong, and despite any doubts I have about the Bengals over the course of the season or the fact I like the Browns, this one is too high. (pick: Bengals +7)

Titans (+2) @ Jaguars
CRM: So, I should sit David Garrard this weekend, right? (pick: Titans +2)

Lisk: I loved the movie the Brothers McCown, but that doesn’t mean I want one of them starting at quarterback (pick: Titans +2)

Giants (-3) @ Redskins
CRM: Every Sunday I go to a bar and root against the Giants, Jets and Steelers. It’s not even about the teams anymore. It’s about the fans. I hate fans. Go Redskins! (pick: Redskins +3)

Lisk: Over/Under on Giants defensive players that suffer a season-ending injury while intercepting a Rex Grossman pass: 1.5. (Giants -3)

Panthers (+7) @ Cardinals
CRM: Kevin Kolb is the truth. Right? We decided that like a year ago I think. He’s still got Larry Fitzgerald, so that’s something. I just can’t decide if Cam Newton is going to suck this year or suck horribly this year. I’m calling it a toss-up. (pick: Cardinals -7)

Lisk: That’s a lot of points to lay for a team that was really bad last year. Originally, I wrote that sentence with a prepositional phrase in the wrong location, and it could have been interpreted as suggesting that the Cardinals were collectively bad in the sack. Good thing I self-edit one out of every 5 posts. (Panthers +7)

Lisk: Tarvaris Jackson is guaranteed to do something that will make you laugh. (49ers -6)

Vikings (+9) @ Chargers
CRM: I’m not sure the Vikings will win many games this year, but I think with Favre gone they’ll be able to use Peterson more than 2 times a quarter. (Vikings +9)

Lisk: The last time Peterson played against the Chargers, he had a pretty nice game, if 296 rushing yards is your thing. (Vikings +9)

Cowboys (+5) @ Jets
CRM: Do not – I repeat – Do not listen to the audio to this game. The way announcers are going to blow the Ryan brothers this year is going to be sickening. (Cowboys +5)

Lisk: Dallas has a young offensive line with injuries that are going to cause them to go even deeper. Not a good recipe against the Jets. (Jets -5)

Patriots (-7) @ Dolphins
CRM: Call me crazy, but I think the Dolphins attract more fans on Monday than the Marlins do in their next home game. (Pats -7)

Lisk: Well, I did pick the Dolphins to make the playoffs as a wildcard (and as a pre-emptive editorial note, I will advise you that Jason McIntyre thinks they will be the worst team in the league), so I suppose I should pick them here. (Dolphins +7)

Raiders (+3) @ Broncos
CRM: Do the Raiders play every first Monday night? I understand they’re on the West coast, but that shouldn’t be enough reason to punish us. (Raiders +3)

Lisk: Last year, Oakland destroyed Denver 59-14 in Mile High, sending the Broncos into a tailspin and getting Josh McDaniels fired. Denver owes a debt of gratitude to the Raiders, and they repay it in a traditional college revenge game (Denver -3)

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