Michael Jordan is currently building a 37,000-square foot home in Florida. The home is going in The Bears Club, a private golf resort built by Jack Nicklaus. Jordan hopes to move in in 2012, but residents are already complaining.
“I don’t know which is worse,” the source said. “The half-smoked cigars in the grass or that fact that he rarely plays without a posse. I’ve seen him out there with 10 people and they’re hooting and hollering. The point of living in this place is that it’s quiet. The residents are seething but there isn’t much they can do about it.”
Not to mention the guy in Jordan’s posse who constantly points out the other residents’ bacon necks. I wouldn’t want that guy hanging around my neighborhood either.
With that in mind, I submit this future interaction between Jordan and the head of security at The Bears Club.
Head of Security: Mr. Nicklaus draws a lot of water in this town. You don’t draw shit, Jordan. Now we got a nice, quiet little golf community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don’t like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Jordan. I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
Jordan: I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.