NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview: Picks and Christmas Lights

Indianapolis (+17) @ Baltimore
CRM – Apparently, the Colts’ only choice is to trade Peyton Manning. Let’s hope they do and then Andrew Luck stinks. (Colts)

Lisk – It didn’t get much play this week, but Dan Orlovsky’s dad said that he didn’t think his son could co-exist on a team with Curtis Painter. (Colts +17)

Houston (+3) @ Cincinnati
CRM – Warren Moon is starting this weekend, right? (Texans)

Kansas City (+10.5) @ New York Jets
CRM – I’m going to be at this game. When the Jets win 5-3 on a last minute field goal, I’m going to be very annoyed. (Chiefs)

Lisk – Tyler Palko has had 34 possessions, and the Chiefs have scored 22 points. The touchdown was on a Hail Mary. Ron Jaworski thinks that is pretty good. (Jets -10.5)

Minnesota (+7) @ Detroit
CRM – I’m deleting my Jared Allen app. (Vikings)

Lisk – There are whole areas of Detroit that are like a first-world country. (Lions -7)

Saints (-4) @ Tennessee
CRM – I traded LeSean McCoy for Chris Johnson in a fantasy league I quit on. Ha. (Saints)

Lisk – This game is not in primetime, so expect the Saints to struggle. (Titans +4)

Philadelphia (+3) @ Miami
CRM – The Dolphins are the best team in football and Reggie Bush is banging Kim Kardashian again. I’m not sure if either of those things are true. (Dolphins)

Lisk – Vince Young should replace Michael Vick because he is a winner. /all those people on Twitter after the Giants game. (Eagles +3)

New England (-9) @ Washington
CRM – Lisk is high? That’s irresponsible for a father of 12. (Pats)

Atlanta (-3) @ Carolina
CRM – I hate quarterbacks so much. All of them. Except for Aaaron Rodgers. (Falcons)

Lisk – Cam Newton is now a winner over the last month, so we can now rejoice that he is a good quarterback. (Panthers +3)

Tampa Bay (PK) @ Jacksonville
Lisk – I’m dubbing this the Waffle House Bowl. (Jaguars PK)

CRM – That’s racist. (Bucs)

San Francisco (-4) @ Arizona
CRM – Has a team ever had a better record that you just assume will get crushed in the playoffs? (49ers)

Lisk – LaRod Stephens-Howling is the second greatest hyphenated running back in the league today. (Cardinals +4)

Chicago (+3.5) @ Denver
CRM – /flexes (Broncos)

Lisk – Has Denver won a game by more than a field goal this year? I feel like with this line you can watch the Tebow miracle while still getting the cover. (Bears +3.5)

Oakland (+11.5) @ Green Bay
CRM – Aaron Rodgers is going to buy a zoo someday. The movie they make about it will be incredible. (Packers)

Lisk – Daryl Lamonica will find the Lambeau turf difficult against Lombardi’s Packers. (Raiders +11.5)

Lisk – San Diego still has offensive line issues and is coached by Norv Turner. (Bills +7)

New York Giants (+3) @ Dallas
CRM – Chili’s $20 dinner for two deal sounds pretty tempting. What’s the deal with those tiny beers they serve? Why can’t I get two normal sized beers for the price of one normal size beer? (Cowboys)

Lisk – Once Jason Garrett learns the art of clock management from Andy Reid, his journey will be complete. (Giants +3)

St. Louis (+7.5) @ Seattle
CRM – I will be skipping this game to watch the trailer for New Year’s Eve on a loop.

Lisk– Oddly enough, these two teams played in primetime last year for a playoff spot– and have the exact same records this year. (Seahawks -7.5)

Happy holidays!