MLB

Derek Jeter's Conquests Get Free Signed Balls

According to the incomparable New York Post, Derek Jeter has been gifting his conquests with free signed balls and other assorted memorabilia before sending them on their merry way. A thanks-for-the-bone gift basket, if you will. The problem is, he supposedly gave the identical basket to the same girl on more than one occasion.

“This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said.

When you’ve reached the point of forgetting who you’ve taken to pound town, you probably have multiple championship rings and play for the New York Yankees. It’s a busy, chaotic life, so it’s easy to understand how such an “oops” might occur, but it comes as no surprise that Jeter employs one system for his revolving door of pussy galore.

This is the same guy who has done the same exact adjustments to his batting gloves during each and every at-bat since 1996. So the idea of Jeter whisking his parade of women out the back door to avoid paparazzi and sending each conquest on their way in a car service complete with a generic I-porked-Derek-Jeter gift basket is not exactly a departure from his habitual nature.

In honor of the Yankee captain, the next time you have a one night stand, sign a random baseball — or perhaps a piece of fruit if you don’t have a baseball handy — and give it to the young lass before sending her on her shameful way.

[Via New York Post; photo via Getty]

Previously: Derek Jeter & Minka Kelly Broke Up
Previously: Ryan Howard is Building a Derek Jeter-Like Palace in Tampa
Previously: Derek Jeter is Living Large in Tampa

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