The NBA Media Day blitz is one of the more entertaining moments of the season in a very unintentional way. Photographers tend to try too hard while NBA players and coaches find themselves getting caught up in the moment and ultimately gifting us with visual glory. Last year was quite a treat, and this year was no different. Let’s dive right into the delicious mess.
The “golf outing” photo never fails when it comes to NBA coaching staffs, particularly when Stan Van Gundy is the centerpiece. The gentleman who foolishly chose to wear shorts probably hasn’t been spoken to in days. Not entirely sure what’s happening at right or if it’s even from the Nuggets team photo day, but strength and conditioning coach Steve Hess and Timofey Mozgov have become the modern day Spike & Tyke. The guess as to what song was playing when the photo was taken? Gotta be something by Shakira.
Mike Miller would rather contract herpes than participate in team photo day. This is also, sadly, his version of “Blue Steel.” Shawn Marion’s new hairdo makes A-Rod’s atrocious frosted tips almost seem reasonable. Also, there’s this.
Before today, I was unaware that the name of Detroit’s mascot is “Hooper.” The look in Hooper’s eyes is the perfect blend of skepticism and uncertainty for what should be another awful Pistons season. As for the photo of Hornets forward Quincy Pondexter, I find it somewhat remarkable that the boxing gloves aren’t the most disturbing aspect of the photograph, and we have his armpits to thank for that.
According to those present at the Sixers photoshoot, Andres Nocioni insisted on speaking to that basketball in a baby voice. The photo seen at right is in no way funny, it’s simply offensive. “Hand Down, Man Down” sitting down for a chat with shrewd interviewer Ahmad Rashad, who once asked an athlete what his favorite food was. A brutal pairing to say the least.
Julian Khazzough of the Golden State Warriors has no idea he’s in the NBA and that deserves to be celebrated with a severe lack of enthusiasm. I bet he’s great at dinner parties. And someone please give Timberwolves assistant Jack Sikma a dose of Khazzough’s hair in the interest of bringing the magic back. As his hair stands now, or sits rather, disappointing would be an understatement.
Stan Van Gundy and Hedo Turkoglu should both be running for Congress. The photo is so pleasing it should be a billboard in Times Square. Forever. At right is Atlanta Hawks assistant coach Lester Conner. Yes, Lester sporadically shouts the No Limit “Hoody Hoo” throughout the course of any given Hawks practice session.
Carldell Johnson’s dream is to one day have actual antlers. Ambitious fellow. Clippers coach Vinny Del Negro looks about as comfortable as Tim Kurkjian in a strip club.
The hope is that it wasn’t intentional, but the creep factor here has just caused thousands of Americans to cross their legs. Scott Layden (second from right) really needs to look in the mirror, tear up the script, and start this whole thing over.
We send you off with Tyreke Evans and his O-Face. The affable Evans welcomes any and all groupies with an open mouth.
Previously: NBA Media Day 2010, in Pictures
[Photos via Getty]