A few days ago I went scrolling through my TBL archive in search of an old post and quickly realized the number of memorable photos we tend to stumble upon throughout the course of any given year. I decided it was an absolute must to do a post celebrating the colorful photographs that truly stuck out and left a lasting impression. There’s no rhyme or reason to the collection. It has nothing to do with moving the needle, sizzle factor, or the popularity of one sports versus another. These are simply photographs from the past year that are deserving of a second look.
How could we not begin with A-Rod? The guy has been as consistently awkward in photos as Albert Pujols has been consistently dominant at the plate. In the interest of maintaining the spirit of the picture caption, we’ll go ahead and say that Alex is playing with the trunks of two invisible elephants. Remember when Bruins defenseman Andrew Ference flipped off the Montreal faithful? Well now you do. To this day it remains a mystery as to why Ference’s middle finger is approximately 1.5″ long. Speaking of the hockey puck playing, no one had a better time partying with the Stanley Cup than Brad Marchand who, without question, won over the best slices of Road Beef.
It would be extremely difficult to sum up the Miami Heat’s 2010-11 season with just a single photo, but the one you see here of Chris Bosh might do the trick as he, Wade and LeBron spent all 82 games blowing themselves, and each other. What you’re seeing adjacent to Bosh’s guzzling session is Buster Posey’s incessantly discussed and quite mangled left ankle. According to my source, his ankle smelled like an egg sandwich duct-taped to a burning tire when he finally removed the cast. And was there a better place in all of the land than Tuscaloosa for National Signing Day? No. No there wasn’t.
The best part about the Erin Andrews photo at left is that we can say she’s “practicing her craft” without getting into trouble. But since we’re always fair, right next to that racy photo is a great shot of Andrews and Marisa Miller. Rounding out this line of living legends is of course deserving NBA “legend” Chris Dudley, a man whose career averages in points (3.9), rebounds (6.2) and assists (0.4) — when added together — just barely breaks into double figures. A legend indeed.
There’s nothing more to say in regard to Clyde Frazier’s suit other than the original headline: “Clyde Frazier Wears Suit Made Entirely of Jimmy Snuka’s Trunks.” It would be pretty difficult to name something more depressing than Greg Oden’s presence on the Portland bench last season. The cane, the cushion, the genuine sadness; it was all just too much. Amazingly enough, those three “attributes” led to a one-year deal with the Blazers. The bizarre photo at right of Matt Barnes and Snoop, reportedly taken in an unknown dorm room, only proved that Madonna has bigger arms than both of them.
Remember Big Baby’s reaction to Rondo’s gruesome elbow injury? He sure is a sensitive fella, but I was proud of him for not sprinting onto the court like Stephon Marbury’s mom once did following a collision with renowned gunman, Jayson Williams. If you didn’t enjoy the introduction of Callie Rivers and her pleasant curves, I’m afraid this may have an affect on our friendship. And yes, a praying mantis befriending Clay Hensley and other members of the Marlins easily stands out as the team’s greatest moment of the 2011 season.
Doubtful many of you recall Bret Hart’s unflattering rendering of Hulk Hogan, but the illustration you’re seeing here was put to paper during a Twitter beef between the two that eventually led Hart to calling Hogan a “dickhead.” Yet another reason we should all be thankful for the existence of Twitter. Surely all of you remember when Pete Rose attended a Reds game dressed as a lesbian disguised as a 1980s mall, no? He needs to do this kind of thing more often. The wrestling bookend here is of course The Rock’s signature moment in Miami where he flashed “The U” to a drooling crowd of supporters following an emotional discussion of his days as a Hurricane.
There are times on this site when we take a complete departure from sports altogether. Shakira’s electrifying ass is a perfect example of that. The New York Post had a plethora of absurd covers throughout the year, but a Rex Ryan foot joke to go along with a fashion lesson to thousands of guidette Jet fans on how to properly fit “Go Jets” across their toenails proved to be endlessly valuable. Remember when Rory McIlroy tweeted this photo of himself chugging a bottle of Jäger? This is exactly what the majority of Jets fans have been doing for the last 16 weeks.
The Lebron and Wade “look away I’m hideous” photo is an all-timer as it thoroughly encompasses the 24-hour circus that took place in South Beach. What an enjoyable spectacle. LeBron and Wade hated life, and the haters loved watching LeBron and Wade hate life. It worked out for everyone, except for LeBron and Wade. However, at the present moment this dynamic duo, along with the rest of the Heat, has already been penciled in as this season’s world champs after just two basketball games. In the middle here is Steve Nash’s impersonation of an exasperated Ben Stiller. There’s no other explanation. Rounding things out is LeBron whistling a soothing lullaby to his balls.
Remember back in early August when Yadier Molina busted out his loogie Uzi on the home plate umpire? Well Joe Sports Fan’s photoshop wizard Matt Sebek took full advantage of the incident and left us with one of the most startling photos of the year.
Part 2 coming tomorrow.
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