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NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview: Week 17

Good bye sweet season. You will be missed.

Pick’emsplosion
Last week: CRM (9-5-1) — Lisk (n/a)
Overall: CRM (99-107-11) — Lisk (115-93-12)

Washington (+9) @ Philadelphia
CRM – The other battle of the NFC East. If either team was intense enough to give a shit, you have to feel like they would be made they blew an opportunity for this to the be game that decided who went to the playoffs. (Redskins)

Lisk – Who’s the third stringer for the Redskins? I just want to know who to pencil in as the starter next year because Shanahan still thinks he can turn lemons into lemonade. (Redskins +9)

San Francisco (-11) @ St. Louis
CRM – Fraud. Fraud. Fraud. I’m telling you. I wouldn’t be surprised if the 49ers finished strong here just to make them more fraudtastic in a couple weeks. (San Fran)

Lisk – David Akers will kick 7 more red zone field goals, proving that Alex Smith is definitely worth signing to a long term extension. (Rams +11)

Chicago (+1) @ Minnesota
CRM – One team stinks because of injuries. The other team stunk and then got injured. Knew they should have brought back Favre. (Bears)

Lisk – Jay Cutler is the MVP. (Vikings -1)

Detroit (-3.5) @ Green Bay
CRM – I think the Lions are too dumb and young and will probably have another comeback come up short in the playoffs, but they’ve got a chance against the Packers in the playoffs.

Lisk – The Packers will probably rest all their starters so they don’t get cleated by Ndamukong Suh. (Lions -3.5)

Carolina (+8) @ New Orleans
CRM – Maybe the Panthers don’t let this rookie quarterback learn how to celebrate? (Saints)

Lisk – Thinking only of himself, Drew Brees will probably try to pass it in this game to extend his yardage record.(Panthers +8)

Tennessee (-3) @ Houston
CRM – Houston sounds like a city in Tennessee. (Texans)

Lisk – I won’t tell you what the East side of Houston smells like. (Texans +3)

Indianapolis (+4) @ Jacksonville
CRM – If only Jacksonville had a chance to draft Andrew Luck. Then we would know he’s going to suck. (Colts)

Lisk – The Jaguars “Suck With Gabbert” campaign has been successful. (Colts +4)

NYJ (+1.5) @ Miami
CRM – TBL asked to use this space to defend Sanchez. I told him no one had even said anything yet. “But Eli Manning and Mark Sanchez have very sim-” I hung up the phone at that point. (Dolphins)

Lisk – In all honesty, Mark Sanchez is struggling because of the offensive coordinator, offensive line, and the lack of speed on the outside. /cashes check (Dolphins -1.5)

Buffalo (+11) @ New England
CRM – Buffalo can be the first team to have two Super Bowls in one season. If they had made the playoffs, they could have had three. (Bills)

Lisk – This game looks to be a huge one, with Buffalo already holding the tiebreaker edge (written 8 weeks ago) (Bills +11)

Tampa Bay (+11.5) @ Atlanta
CRM – I could totally beat Julio Jones in a foot race. (Bucs)

Lisk – Raheem Morris is probably doing jello shots right now, and organizing the locker room Madden tournaments in lieu of practice this week. (Falcons -11.5)

Baltimore (-3) @ Cincinnati
CRM – I hope Chad Johnson has some crazy celebrations planned! (Bengals)

Lisk – In order to maybe not play anymore road games, the Ravens need to actually play well in one. (Bengals +3)

Pittsburgh (-4) @ Cleveland
CRM – This is certainly a football that is scheduled on Sunday. (Steelers)

Lisk – I once called Cleveland my sleeper team. Why didn’t you all slap me? (Steelers -4)

San Diego (+3) @ Oakland
CRM – The Chargers still aren’t out of it. I just know it. (Raiders)

Lisk – Norv Turner’s final game, y’all, until someone else watches the Super Bowl XXVII highlights. (Chargers +3)

Kansas City (+3.5) @ Denver
CRM – THIS IS THE ONLY GAME THAT HAS MATTERED ALL SEASON. BRING THE BCS TO THE NFL. (Broncos)

Lisk – Whichever QB is most sober on Sunday will probably win. (Chiefs +3.5)

Seattle (+3) @ Arizona
CRM – Two ugly team names. (Cards)

Lisk – It was nice of these two teams to give their fans a little hope that they could make the playoffs. Now enjoy 7 more years of mediocrity. (Seahawks +3)

Dallas (+3) @ NYG
CRM -I think this sums it up pretty accurately.

(Cowboys)

Lisk – Nailed it. (Giants -3)

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