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Weekly Top Five: Super Bowl XLVI? Super Bowl XLVI!

Each week Stephen Teach-Me-How-To Douglas and I will recap some of the bigger stories from the lively week in athletics. It’s a completely original idea that we started over two years ago. Every time this post appears, James William Bottomtooth says something profound. As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters.

Yeah, that’s Kate Upton again.

1. Super Bowl XLVI
TSH — Remember when the Super Bowl used to be a lopsided debacle almost every year? Ever since the Bucs smoked the pathetic Raiders 48-21 we’ve been privy to some pretty great games so long as we pretend the Steelers-Seahawks Super Bowl never happened. I expect this one to be no different, but now that I’ve said that, I fully expect a disgusting blowout.

CRM — Am I the only one who doesn’t have an Super Bowl squares this year? Times like this, I miss working in an office. Then I realize I’m still wearing my pajamas and I come to grips with the fact that I didn’t throw away twenty bucks this week. Go Bears!

2. Super Bowl Eating
TSH — Buffalo wings, pizza, beer, 27-layer dip, a nacho necklace, a cape made entirely of tortillas, and a block of cheese to wear as a comforting sombrero. I’m giddy.

CRM — Buffalo wings, pizza, beer… it’ll be like last Friday. I try to celebrate a personal Super Bowl every weekend.

3. Jim Irsay vs. Peyton Manning, Again
TSH — Peyton Manning needs to play for the Titans or Texans so he can face the Colts twice a year and put on a clinic. I don’t care if it’s “just business,” Jim Irsay is coming off as an unappreciative dick. There’s nothing wrong with the Colts deciding to cut ties with the guy who completely turned around the franchise, but there are better ways to go about the delicate issue.

CRM — I’ll say it again – Peyton needs to finish his career in Indy. It wasn’t right to see Joe Montana end his career in Kansas City. It wasn’t right to see Steve Young end his career in San Francisco. What? Am I the only one that thought he should have been a Buc for life?

4. The Commercials!

TSH — Bring back the Bud Bowl or leave, me, alone.

CRM — Wassup!

5. Greatest Super Bowl Memory
TSH — Super Bowl XXIII. Joe Montana to John Taylor. A scintillating moment to the say the least. That victory brought Joseph his third ring. He ended up grabbing another the following year to finish his career with four Super Bowl rings in total and a record of 4-0 in the Super Bowl, of which he threw 11 touchdowns and no interceptions. Best of luck to anyone attempting to top those numbers.

CRM — I blacked out around the time Justin Timberlake ripped Janet Jackson’s shirt. The second half of that game is a memory I’d like to attain. As for actual memories, the helmet catch was pretty amazing. Followed by Brady and Moss coming so close to hooking up on a bomb on the next possession. That was a good Super Bowl.

Honorable Mention
Josh Hamilton, yikes Steve Tyler’s tits again … a fucking hat!

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Last Week’s Query Poll Results:
Singing “Livin’ on a Prayer” with Tim Tebow or “The Beautiful People” with Tom Brady has finally been decided. Brady won, 93-88. Last week 119 of you preferred Ian Darke to narrate your life as opposed to Marv Albert (98), which is criminal.

Query of the Week…

[poll id=”320″]

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This Week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki

TSH — With a gun to your head and forced to have sex with one, who would you bone – Snooki or Wicket?

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This Is Your Moment, Eli

[Photos via Getty]

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