Former major-leaguer and full time comedian Elijah Dukes was arrested earlier this morning and faces charges of marijuana possession after “destroying” evidence. By destroying evidence, I of course mean devouring a bag of weed like a hungry hippo.
Tampa police pulled over Dukes’ orange Chevy Camaro for a routine traffic stop at Nebraska and Sligh avenues at 1:08 a.m. today, according to an arrest report. When officers approached him, they saw flakes of marijuana on Dukes’ shirt, the report said. Dukes, 27, who played for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in 2007, was also trying to eat a small bag of pot, police said.
Just eating some pot in an orange Camaro. Your customary Thursday morning ritual. This guy is a treat.
Dukes is being charged with the following: Tampering with physical evidence, possession of less than 20 grams of cannabis, possession of drug paraphernalia and three counts of driving with a canceled or suspended license.
Only Elijah Dukes could be charged with three counts of driving with a suspended license. As Jim Valvano once memorably said, that’s a full day.
The last time we heard from the animated outfielder, he was gifting us with tales of being blackballed by MLB for accusing players of smuggling drugs onto planes, all while beginning a fruitful rapping career as “Fly Eli.”
I think I speak for everyone when I say it’s a beautiful thing to have Elijah Dukes back in our lives.