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Weekly Top Five: Jeremy Lin, Detroit's Streak & Laron Landry's Arms

Each week Tim “Teach Me How To” Ryan and I will recap some of the bigger stories from the lively week in athletics. It’s a completely original idea that we started over two years ago. Every time this post appears, Tyler Duffy updates his thesaurus app. As always, please remember to be as irrational as possible when interacting with your fellow TBL commenters.

Ruben the puppy has been replaced by Reid Brignac’s girlfriend, Lauren Anderson.

1. “Chink In The Armor”

CRM — The guy who used that headline was incredibly naive if he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. It’s nice to think he’s from a special place where racism doesn’t exist, a light should have gone off on this one. Losing his job seems a little harsh since he has no priors, but this shit happens.

TSH — I felt a lot more sympathy for this Anthony Federico fellow before he sent out a detailed list of his storied charity work. It kind of takes away from all of the charity work you’ve done when it comes off that you’ve done said charity work for the sole purpose of listing all of your charity work.

2. Red Wings Streak Ends

TSH — The Red Wings losing streak coming to an end was a tough one to swallow. It’s right up there with ABC’s inexcusable cancellation of Eli Stone and the disappointment we all felt upon learning producers would not be making a sequel to “Little Nicky.” On a positive note, there are still 63 games left followed by three months of playoffs.

CRM — Hockey? Hockey. Detroit’s streak started way back to November 5th. It’s one of those streaks that is just kind of coincidental. During the home winning streak they went 36-13. (36-15 if you count the last two losses since the last home win.) As far as streaks go, this one was notable in its randomness.

3. Laron Landry’s Arms

CRM — His arms are almost too ridiculous to be photoshopped. He’s like an action figure. Not sure how that much bulk and hulk can keep him on the field for more than half a season, but he sure looks badass in that baby t-shirt.

TSH — Laron Landry loves the gym more than Anthony Davis loves unibrows. I fully expect him to fly around the field next year with the dizzying speed of Refrigerator Perry.

4. Ryan Braun

CRM — Braun beat the system. Then a 16-year-old beat the press. I’m not sure what’s more surprising. Now we wait and see why he tested positive in the first place.

TSH — Several members of the media have expressed how impressive Ryan Braun was in today’s press conference. Some reporters even gushed. Because of that, there was obviously no wrongdoing here. Plus, Aaron Rodgers believes him too. Case closed.

5. Jeremy Lin

TSH — Jeremy Lin was great and now he’s terrible. The guy has started 11 games this season. I’m going to sound like Peter King here, but it’s a little scary that sports have become uncomfortably suffocating to the point that every single game must instantaneously mean something dramatically conclusive. For the love of tits, let it breathe a little.

CRM — All-Star weekend is here. Lin has turned the ball over about 75 times in the last week. Baseball is back. Linsanity seems to finally be dying down. I’m not saying we’re going to forget about it, but you should all be very happy that you can breathe on the internet without Linhaling something too much.

Honorable Mention
Sneaker riot … a fucking hat!

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This week in Retarded Pictures of Snooki

CRM — I haven’t watched Jersey Shore this season. I haven’t noticed anyone talking about Jersey Shore this season. I have no idea what is going on in this picture, but if Tim were here he would say something about “beef curtains.”

TSH — But I am here. Snooki’s beef curtains meeting seawater sound like the ingredients for the next great salad dressing.

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Last Week’s Query Poll Results: You overwhelmingly decided to stick with Jeremy Lin. Good call. With that in mind…

Query of the Week: Ben and Jerry’s is selling a Jeremy Linspired ice cream that contains fortune cookies.

[poll id="324"]

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[Photos via Getty]

 

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