WrestleMania XXVIII is Upon Us
By Tim Ryan
When I was a kid and basically living off of this stuff, I was always fascinated when a major wrestling event like WrestleMania would take place at an outdoor venue, so this is a welcome return. The first time the big event was held outdoors was WrestleMani IX in Las Vegas, and it wasn’t until XXIV at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando that Vinnie and company did so again.
Considering IX included Tito Santana versus Papa Shango along with Doink the Clown versus Crush, and XXIV featured Floyd Mayweather defeating The Big Show by knockout, there isn’t a chance in hell that tonight’s installment of WrestleMania won’t be infinitely better.
Tonight will of course feature The Rock against John Cena, and CM Punk will be fighting Chris Jericho in the name of a drug-free America. Touching to say the least.
Also creating a mountain of last minute buzz is the possible return of Brock Lesnar. All “leaks” on Twitter point to him being in the building tonight. Just a classic, signature move by Vincent K. McMahon for a late push in pay-per view buys. The man is a hilarious genius with an impressive set of blitzes.
The match drawing most of my attention will be The Undertaker putting his flawless WrestleMania record of 19-0 on the line against Triple H for the second year in a row. For the sole purpose of driving pathetic NFL retiree Mercury Morris* into a padded room — particularly since this one takes place in Miami — I would imagine the Dead Man’s storied streak remains firmly intact. After all, if nothing else, it’s a reliable crutch for Vince and friends to rely on each and every year. A true staple that will always draws eager eyeballs.
So with that, I’m going with The Undertaker. Again.
When he finally does decide to hang his casket from the rafters, it’s a safe bet his unbeaten record at WrestleMania still has a zero in the right side of the column. However, now that I’ve stated those words, you can absolutely count on him losing tonight.
Keep in mind, it’s still April Fools Day, so don’t be surprised if Rob Kardashian storms the ring and puts The Rock in the Perfect Plex while an emaciated Gillberg taunts the crowd.
*Sadly, there’s a 96% chance that The Undertaker’s undefeated record truly bothers Mercury Morris.
Note: The photo above is from this classic – Ridiculous Wedding Entrance Featuring Groomsmen Dressed as WWE Wrestlers