Late this afternoon we were introduced to Bobby Petrino’s mysterious friend and presumed motorcycle enthusiast, Jessica Dorrell. While it’s only been a little over an hour since the original report of their eventful cruise, it’s already apparent that this one is primed to have a potent stench of sleaze emanating from its pores once everyone is done savagely ripping off the flesh. By the looks of Petrino, it appears we’re close.
Just last Tuesday, the Razorbacks named Dorrell the new “student-athlete development coordinator for football.” What in the hairy hell does that mean, one might ask? Well her duties include handling on-campus recruiting and working with incoming players on eligibility issues. She’ll also “be the point person for official and unofficial recruiting visits.” Sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but all I can think of is the threesome from “He Got Game.”
Here’s Petrino’s quote about the grand addition of Dorrell:
“Jessica Dorrell will be a great addition to our football program. As a former student-athlete she has an enthusiasm for the Razorbacks and is familiar with what the University of Arkansas can offer. She is extremely organized and has a professional approach, which should translate well into our program and recruiting as we continue to place an emphasis on this area.”
All that and she evidently has a deep appreciation for riding hogs.
As previously mentioned, Dorrell is engaged. The guy she’s engaged to is Arkansas Director of Swimming and Diving Operations, Josh Morgan. Here’s a photo of the happy couple in a wonderfully spontaneous pose. If you’re in the mood to be a thoughtful pal, go ahead drop a note in their wedding guestbook.
While Petrino likely eats swimmers and swimming directors for breakfast, he would be wise to start making sense, and fast. It’s never a good idea to contradict a police report, especially one presented in ALL CAPS.
One underrated aspect of this story? The battered and bruised Petrino looks a lot like the guy in “Luck” after he got his ass handed to him by two chicks who sell insurance.